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Rites that are Wrongs

| May 3, 2015 | 14 Comments

Day in and day out we witness many families who are trapped in a roller coaster of emotional and financial turmoil. Most of the problems arise due to our need to conform to some of the cultural and traditional rites that are wrongs.

The major cause of many a problems and suffering is the result of our unconscious choices and not by chance. Many parents are more worried about the Society than their future life.

There are various rites that are practiced from birth until death and even after death.   Some rites are sanctified by a religious order and rest of the rites is customary and traditional.

Ceremonies surrounding marriage in most cultures validate the importance of marriage for the continuation of a clan, people or society. Most of these rites involve exchange of gifts that are both real and symbolic. However, all the elements in marriage rituals vary greatly among different societies, and components such as time, place, and the social importance of the event are fixed by tradition and habit.


In order to follow these rites, many families spend a fortune and even those who are not financially sound also indulge in these rites by involving themselves in financial loans and debts that continue for several years even after the marriage.

Some traditional rites did disappear over a period of time and are no more practiced. Similarly, if an effort is made to simplify marriages by eliminating those rites that are not part of a religious order but are only traditional, a majority of parents would be more financially abundant and would not be forced to live their entire lives in debts and suffering.

It is thus important to be prude than being proud and make informed choices so that the rest of our lives are spent happily rather than blindly following the rites that are wrongs that make our lives miserable.

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About the Author (Author Profile)

I’m Fayaz Pasha from Bangalore, the Silicon Valley and Garden City of India. I’m a Certified Life Coach and an NLP Practitioner. I love reading, writing and convey my thoughts through Poetry. I would like to make my humble contribution to the Society through this blog towards detoxification of social evils particularly the dowry system.

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Comments (14)

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  1. Saru Singhal says:

    Yeah, we must change now. Earlier people were not educated and women were dependent. Things have changed and so should we.

  2. well written…
    On one hand, I find nothing wrong in spending fortune if one has plenty of it, at the same time I also agree that it generates unnecessary pressure of doing the same on those who are not that sound…

    • Fayaz Pasha says:

      Those who have plenty could possibly spend to some extent but not so lavish that crores are spent which could be put to some better use. Seeing these lavish celebrations, even those who are not financially sound wish to imitate and thus end up in loans and debts for the rest of their lives making their lives more miserable.

      Thank you Amita for dropping by and for your kind comment.

  3. Alok Singhal says:

    I agree with you since we also follow some rites blindly and i personally don’t see much of a reason for it. Somebody started them ages back and they are being practiced without any thought. Some people don’t even know the importance behind it.

    But i guess next generation will get rid of many of them, they being more practical.

    • Fayaz Pasha says:

      This is the tragedy that many a family are spending their life time savings and incurring huge debts just to conform to some of the rites that can easily be avoided. Knowing or becoming aware of what we are doing and why we are doing something is the first step towards a change in ourselves and the society.

      Thank you Alok for your kind comment.

  4. sindhoooo says:

    A matter that needs attention. Well written, Fayazji. I think, the expenditure over marriages is more in cities than in villages. In my place, there are families who arrange two marriages on the same day in the same venue to reduce the cost. I think, there are some groups/castes in which we can see marriage as a simple ceremony, but, they don’t get into limelight…
    sindhoooo recently posted…Paper Quilled EarhangingsMy Profile

    • Fayaz Pasha says:

      Thank you Sindhoo. It is unfortunate that good things never get into limelight. All that is wrong and against humanity does get into limelight. Hope society will wake up and make marriages more simpler thereby reducing many social evils.

  5. I completely agree. I find no point spending a fortune over marriage..why not keep them for a better future?
    Maniparna Sengupta Majumder recently posted…Chandipur, an Ideal Weekend destinationMy Profile

  6. PS: I liked the title.. Rites that are wrongs :D :)
    vinay nagaraju recently posted…Throw Me Away, I’m Used To ItMy Profile

  7. I agree Fayaz, I think it is these meaningless shows of glamour that are really destroying families. I have seen people take loans up to 25 lakhs just for a marriage and spend less than 50k for their wedding or future life. I mean spending 25-30 lakhs for one day and all people talk about in the return is how the food was. Why feed 1000/2000 people to hear those many opinions! I really feel that these acts should reduce a bit and most ceremonies should be more private than they are now..

    PS: I wrote something on similar lines Yday about marrying late in life and was thinking on the same lines. This post kinda struck a chord with my mindset from the past couple of days :)
    vinay nagaraju recently posted…Throw Me Away, I’m Used To ItMy Profile

    • Fayaz Pasha says:

      People who make such decisions do pay their entire life along with interest. As I said, its better to be prude than proud.

      Thank you once again Vinay.

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