Premarital Planning and Preparation

| November 4, 2017 | 2 Comments

Hello and As Salamualaykum,

While I was reading an article regarding the various entrance exams and the required efforts, planning and preparation to pass those exams, I wondered if at all any planning or preparation is made for a life long journey called “Marriage”.

The following is an attempt to highlight the need for Premarital Planning and Preparation which is totally neglected in our Society:

In India, career building is an important issue for both children and their parents. What career to choose, how to get to the best institution ensuring a bright future in the chosen career and finally how to prepare for the entrance exams are few questions that create a storm in the minds of the candidates.

Entrance Exam is a prerequisite for gaining admissions in professional courses like Engineering, Medical, Dental, Management and Law across India. These exams may be administered at any level of education, from primary to higher education, although they are more common at higher levels.

Some of the popular entrance exams:

  • CAT (Common Admission Test)
  • JEE (Joint Entrance Exam)
  • GATE (Graduate Aptitude Test in Engineering)
  • NEET (National Eligibility Cum Entrance Test)
  • UGC-NET (University Grants Commission – National Eligibility Test)
  • Common Law Admission Test
  • UPSC (Union Public Service Commission)
  • AIMS (Medical Entrance Exam)
  • XAT (School of Business & Human Resources)
  • BITSAT (Birla Institute of Technology)

Preparation for Entrance Exams includes:

  • Getting familiar with content and format of the tests.
  • Improving skills for test taking
  • Reviewing notes and study guides
  • Forming study groups
  • Improving English and Maths as they are very important subjects for entrance exams.
  • Getting a tutor.
  • Attempting multiple practice tests.
  • Preparing checklists

Marriage is a life-long journey that needs adequate planning and preparation. However the only planning that is done is for the Wedding Day.

Below is a sample checklist for planning a wedding:

  • Wedding budget
  • Events to be organized
  • Choice of Venue
  • Guest List
  • Wedding outfits
  • Catering
  • Videographers, photographers
  • Jewelry
  • Wedding cake design and order
  • Invitations
  • Transportation
  • Choose bridal makeup artist
  • Learn dancing lessons for reception
  • Beauty treatments and Makeup

    

     

Note: If parents can’t manage the above, they hire a wedding planner to assist in the planning process.

If you look at the above wedding checklist, you’ll find that wedding planning and preparation involves even more effort than the Entrance Exams. However, in all of the above planning process, we do not notice even a single aspect to Assist, Educate, Guide or Groom the person planning to get married.  All aspects are planned in precision just for “ONE DAY” and there’s nothing for the whole journey of life.

  • A person who is the son of a contractor is introduced to you. He has no knowledge or experience about the various aspects of building a house as he never engaged in the construction business due to Schooling. Will you engage him to build your house?

However, a home-maker or Bread-winner who has been studying in the College and hardly knows about the various duties and responsibilities as a spouse is one fine day given a ticket to the marital journey without any preparation. All that is told is to be cautious, overpowering or docile and patient. With this meager information, the couple board the wedding flight and thus we are witnessing myriad problems in the Society. The situation is so bleak that even if the cat says “Meow”, the couple is ready to divorce.

What aspects do you think should be part of the planning and preparation process enabling the prospective bride and bridegroom to make their marital journey happy and successful?

Your feedback and support to spread this awareness is highly appreciated.

Category: Marital Awareness

About the Author (Author Profile)

I’m Fayaz Pasha from Bangalore, the Silicon Valley and Garden City of India. I’m a Certified Life Coach and an NLP Practitioner from American University of NLP. I love reading, writing and Poetry. I would like to make my humble contribution to the Society through this blog towards detoxification of social evils particularly the dowry system and Feticide.

Comments (2)

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  1. I agree! In fact, that is why marriages are handled lightly/improperly. Personality is built over lifetime, not in a single day. If parents start giving responsibilities suitable for the kid’s age, they will be amazed how fantastic they are handling situations!

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