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Marital Qualifications

| November 19, 2013 | 10 Comments

A Commander in his address to the battalion says; we have bought the best uniforms available in the market and hope that you will be victorious in the battlefield . As far as the training in weaponry is concerned, you will learn a lot as the battle progresses and on ground training will be provided as required. Do you think they will be victorious?

A woman says to her friend that she cooked 2 kg tasty biryani for her guests. It was learnt that only half a kilogram of mutton was used and the biryani was prepared with ordinary rice. Do you think that the biryani would be tasty with the said ingredients?

A man approaches a contractor to build a house. The contractor enquires regarding the drawings. The man says not to worry about the drawings and to begin the work. As the work progresses, drawings would be made available. Is it possible to start construction and then prepare the required drawings?

Applications were invited to fill vacancy for a Pilot . A person applies for the post as he has been a frequent flyer, is aware of many airports and is confident of flying a plane with the assistance of the co-pilot. Will he be a suitable pilot?

A person obtains a driving license without ever going to the Driving School or having any driving experience, would he be able to understand the road signs, road ethics etc.?

What would happen if a vehicle is given for repairs to a cleaner at the Workshop instead of a Mechanic?

In the aforesaid examples we wonder whether such important tasks or duties can be performed by unqualified people. However, when it comes to a marriage, the major role of life, that of a “Spouse” is entrusted to a person who has only academic qualification but has very little or no marital qualifications and is not adequately trained to shoulder the various roles and responsibilities of a spouse or parent.

The Chinese athletes break Olympic records. The athletes are well prepared. Have you ever wondered what goes into preparation for the prestigious sporting events as they outclass and strike gold in most of the events.

According to a report, athletes who shine at Olympics would have undergone a terrible time at their camps, as they would be rigorously trained to be tough since their childhood. Training starts as early as 5 years old. Parents take initiatives to send their children in ruthless training camps across the nation where children, battle to complete the demanding routines on bars, rings, and mats.

article-0-145294AB000005DC-827_634x800      article-0-145294D5000005DC-52_634x460    China-Olympic19

China-Olympic01        article-2181374-144D837A000005DC-996_634x448

Those who seek to get married and their parents spend couple of years planning about the clothes, jewelry, food, entertainment and the Wedding day. Isn’t it weird that years are spent planning for a single day and not a single day is spent to teach about things that will help and guide them throughout their marital journey.

What are the key areas that you think are necessary for the bride and the bridegroom to be trained so that they enter the marital journey with adequate marital qualifications? 

Thanks again for reading the blog, and I’d be happy to hear your comments and suggestions.

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About the Author (Author Profile)

I’m Fayaz Pasha from Bangalore, the Silicon Valley and Garden City of India. I’m a Certified Life Coach and an NLP Practitioner. I love reading, writing and convey my thoughts through Poetry. I would like to make my humble contribution to the Society through this blog towards detoxification of social evils particularly the dowry system.

Comments (10)

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  1. Saru Singhal says:

    I think we need to be good human beings. We need to be loving, caring and have the ability to see things on a larger scale to prepare ourselves for a lifetime relationship.

    • Fayaz Pasha says:

      A very nice recipe Saru. However, in order to have all these ingredients, one needs to be coached or guided so that he/she is rightly qualified for shouldering the various marital responsibilities.

  2. sindhoooo says:

    I agree with Preethi. To add, from childhood we are guided by parents to be good and adjustable with other family members. That takes the main part in success of marriages for both boy and girl.
    sindhoooo recently posted…DIY Beaded Yo-yo Patchwork And Ruffled Motif WorkMy Profile

    • Fayaz Pasha says:

      Thanks for dropping by Sindhoo. True, parents guide their children regarding various aspects. However, there are many grey areas where much attention is not paid and the usual thought is that “Shaadi ke baad sub theek ho jayega” (will learn and adjust after marriage).

  3. preethi says:

    In india…a marriage is not between two people but two families. No point in denying that for a marital relation to work the family also factors in. I say training should include initiation of the bride into the family as “acceptance” of the girl is so much importsnt for her adjusting into to new family. Elders are always around to counsel and set right problems between couples. I may be a bit old fashioned in thought. I strongly belive that families on both sides have a big hand in a successful marriage. Ofcourse the bride and groom must reciprocate
    the feeling. :)

    • Fayaz Pasha says:

      Aptly said Preethi. “Initiation of the bride into the family is vitally important”, very true!. As long as there’s no true ACCEPTANCE, the journey gets marred with every single problem. Elders are always there to counsel, however, the couple ought to be trained in some of the major areas that affect their marital life. Your thoughts are not old fashioned but they are still very valid as both families provide a road-map to the couple in their marital journey.

  4. Athenas Take says:

    I think when it comes to training in this sense there should be training for communication. In any relationship communication is vital and if the couple cannot communicate then there is no hurdle that they can cross.
    Athenas Take recently posted…Right Time Right Place Right OpportunityMy Profile

    • Fayaz Pasha says:

      You have hit the bull’s-eye Athenas. the skill of good communication among all relationships particularly in the marital relationship goes a long way to develop and flourish. However, this is unfortunately the least taught skill that creates several problems in the relationship.

  5. Harsha says:

    This is a Great Post Fayaz..The way you brought the issues infornt..I must appreciate it,Indeed there is a lot to be done
    Harsha recently posted…What’s Cooking–Check Yourself!!!My Profile

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