Dear Daughter-In-Law (DIL),
While I was seeking a bride for my son, I had made it clear that we are against the evil practice of dowry system. However, almost all proposals that we came across were loaded with dowries because my son is settled abroad. In some proposals, parents were even willing to give the latest car and some offered a Two Bedroom Flat saying that it was a token of love for their daughter.
I simply cannot comprehend the fact that on one hand the society wants to get rid of the evils of dowry system that has destroyed many a families and on the other hand a majority of parents are willing to offer huge dowries even to those who are against the evil system. At one time a majority of parents were seeking dowries. With the spread of awareness, the number of parents who demand dowry is becoming considerably low. However, what’s shocking is that the number of parents who are volunteering to give huge dowries has increased manifold. There are also a few other reasons behind such huge dowry offers:
- Some offer huge dowries to denote their social status or prestige in the Society.
- Some offer huge dowries as they are desperate to get their daughters married.
- Some offer huge dowries with a hope that their daughters will be taken good care of.
- Some offer huge dowries if their daughters have any handicap or pallid skin complexion.
- Some offer huge dowries since daughters force their parents to give at par with what was given to their elder sisters.
- Some offer huge dowries if their daughters are just literate.
I’m glad that your parents acceded to my request. I established my own little Kingdom with a set of values, ethics, rules and regulations over the past three decades. Just as a Kingdom has one Ruler, a Country has one President or Prime Minister, so does a family has one head and having two family heads would eventually jeopardize the relationships sooner or later. On the other hand, slavery has been abolished globally but it still exists in many families in the form of a Daughter-In-Law. The relationship between MIL and DIL need to have at least 5 types of freedom as follows:
Oppression in any of the above areas curtails freedom and lack of freedom suffocates any relationship resulting in frustration and unhappiness.
We wanted to provide you with a separate apartment but unfortunately we are able to provide you with a separate portion (bedroom, kitchen and bathroom) and hope that you will be able to establish your own little Kingdom with your set of values, ethics, rules and regulations and have a prosperous wedded life.
Best of luck and a hearty welcome to you once again.
Adam and Eve were the happiest, and the luckiest, couple in the world, because neither of them had a mother-in-law.
Have you ever seen Kuch Rang SaaS Ke Aise Bhi?
Category: MARITAL AWARENESS
About the Author (Author Profile)
I’m Fayaz Pasha from Bangalore, the Silicon Valley and Garden City of India. I’m a Certified Life Coach and an NLP Practitioner. I love reading, writing and convey my thoughts through Poetry. I would like to make my humble contribution to the Society through this blog towards detoxification of social evils particularly the dowry system.