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Kuch Rang Saas Ke Aise Bhi – Part-1

| June 20, 2016 | 12 Comments

SAAS (Mother-in-Law):

Dear Daughter-in-Law, Now that you are engaged and will soon be joining our household, I would like to clarify some points as mentioned below:

“After marriage, you will be permitted to visit your parents once a month. You’ll be allowed to visit or talk to your friends and relatives on all festive occasions. Your jewelry will be under my custody. What you do, what you wear, what you eat, where you go, when you sleep and when you should be awake fall under my jurisdiction. As a matter of fact, I will be your live CCTV camera.

DIL

You will be treated like a queen at least for 2 to 3 weeks and thereafter you’ll start performing necessary household chores as follows:

  • Cooking 3 meals a day for 8 persons and 4 kids
  • Daily and weekly cleaning
  • Vacuuming the house
  • Cleaning kitchen/bathroom/oven/fridge
  • Tidying up
  • Washing clothes
  • Changing sheets
  • Ironing
  • Managing the family budget
  • Organizing payment of utility bills
  • Liaising with school/nursery over everyday issues
  • Being the first person called if there’s a problem at school/nursery
  • Doing/supervising homework
  • Arranging childcare
  • Arranging applications for primary/secondary school
  • Organizing birthday parties
  • Buying clothes
  • Buying family presents/cards
  • Managing doctor/dentist/optician appointments
  • Looking after children at evenings and weekends
  • Preparing activities for your partner to look after the children at evenings and weekends
  • Reading bedtime stories
  • Settling children that wake in the night
  • Organizing birthday presents for family members

As time passes by, it is obvious to have some friction between us on a daily basis leading to quarrels and sometimes it may escalate to ugly brawls as shown in most of the soap operas.”

I’m sure by now you must be wondering whether you are getting married or are you being bought like a slave.

Best Motherinlaw

Well dear, over the decades I have seen all of the above in my families, relatives, neighbors, friends etc. The society endorses these cultural practices by deriving pleasure out of pain. Having observed the sad status of many a family break-ups, I would like to put an end to the vicious cycle of MIL-DIL hostilities that cause pain and suffering to all relationships.

DILs

When we sought a bride for our son, we had mentioned that we belong to an affluent, educated and religious family. I want to reiterate it via deeds and hence rejected all dowry offers from your family. After your return from honeymoon you will spend a month with me during which time you will receive some basic orientation about our family, relatives and friends. You will then move to one of our fully furnished flats which will become your sweet home. I hope it will give you ample freedom to live and enjoy life and help you to learn and establish as a family. You will be able to make all life’s choices and those decisions shall fortify your role as a wife, mother and as a DIL.

At times when you need guidance, support or help, you are always welcome and I’m sure this out-of-box strategy will help to strengthen our bond.

motherinlaw

Do you think that the society would have “Kuch Rang Saas Ke Aise Bhi”?

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Category: MARITAL AWARENESS

About the Author (Author Profile)

I’m Fayaz Pasha from Bangalore, the Silicon Valley and Garden City of India. I’m a Certified Life Coach and an NLP Practitioner. I love reading, writing and convey my thoughts through Poetry. I would like to make my humble contribution to the Society through this blog towards detoxification of social evils particularly the dowry system.

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Comments (12)

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  1. Kalpanaa says:

    Very interesting! All the disrespect and abuse of the daughter in law stems from the fact that our society does not value women. The mother in law is the institutionalised face of patriarchy. She behaves obnoxiously in order to be accepted by her husband and sons. I wish things could change to the second scenario you presented.

    • Fayaz Pasha says:

      What has been practiced over decades has only resulted in pain and suffering. It’s high time to change the mindset and MILs should take the initiative in making this massive change that would bring peace and happiness to a majority of families.

      Thank you Kalpanaa for dropping by and for your kind comments.

  2. Robert says:

    I wonder how many others see the connection between the dowry traditions and systemic Homophobia, especially in cultures that still depend on arranged marriage as a cultural expectation.

    After all, since logic and reason can not support dowry inequities, religion and laws were contrived to help institutionalize any related control (bullying) over children, etc. Otherwise, gay children would not carry on the expected breeding benefits as the dowry gains would be lost to parents and the society. (tax revenue, cheap labor, etc)

    So, the natural sexual orientation of children need to be suppressed by Homophobic persecution and driven underground … or worse.

  3. Mansi Mittal says:

    That was awesome Fayaz…

  4. You have portrayed such a fierce reality of our society in humorous manner. I really like your satirical approach of invoking the truth. How our society is so rigid and still refuse to change!
    Sangeeta Mishra recently posted…Making Money through BlogmintMy Profile

    • Fayaz Pasha says:

      Thank you Sangeetaji. It reminds me of two good quotes:

      1. “If you always do what you’ve always done, you’ll always get what you’ve always got.” ― Henry Ford

      2. “The definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over again, but expecting different results”. – Albert Einstein

      It is indeed a challenge for the Society to stop whining and address the issues by implementing alternative and amiable solutions that would help lower the suffering of many a families.

      Thank you again for your kind concern and appreciation.

  5. kamar jahan says:

    this is so true we still have patriarchal culture
    kamar jahan recently posted…Introducing Affimity – The interest based Social Media NetworkMy Profile

  6. OMG!We still have patriarchal society’s shadows.

    • Fayaz Pasha says:

      Yes Mr. Arumugam, the society has been brainwashed over several decades and it won’t be easy to get away from these practices. However, there is always a ray of hope that one day the so-called educated people will be able to understand the evils and get rid of them.

      Thanks for dropping by.

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