Dear Daughter-in-Law, Now that you are engaged and will soon be joining our household, I would like to clarify some points as mentioned below:
“After marriage, you will be permitted to visit your parents once a month. You’ll be allowed to visit or talk to your friends and relatives on all festive occasions. Your jewelry will be under my custody. What you do, what you wear, what you eat, where you go, when you sleep and when you should be awake fall under my jurisdiction. As a matter of fact, I will be your live CCTV camera.
You will be treated like a queen at least for 2 to 3 weeks and thereafter you’ll start performing necessary household chores as follows:
- Cooking 3 meals a day for 8 persons and 4 kids
- Daily and weekly cleaning
- Vacuuming the house
- Cleaning kitchen/bathroom/oven/fridge
- Tidying up
- Washing clothes
- Changing sheets
- Managing the family budget
- Organizing payment of utility bills
- Liaising with school/nursery over everyday issues
- Being the first person called if there’s a problem at school/nursery
- Doing/supervising homework
- Arranging childcare
- Arranging applications for primary/secondary school
- Organizing birthday parties
- Buying clothes
- Buying family presents/cards
- Managing doctor/dentist/optician appointments
- Looking after children at evenings and weekends
- Preparing activities for your partner to look after the children at evenings and weekends
- Reading bedtime stories
- Settling children that wake in the night
- Organizing birthday presents for family members
As time passes by, it is obvious to have some friction between us on a daily basis leading to quarrels and sometimes it may escalate to ugly brawls as shown in most of the soap operas.”
I’m sure by now you must be wondering whether you are getting married or are you being bought like a slave.
Well dear, over the decades I have seen all of the above in my families, relatives, neighbors, friends etc. The society endorses these cultural practices by deriving pleasure out of pain. Having observed the sad status of many a family break-ups, I would like to put an end to the vicious cycle of MIL-DIL hostilities that cause pain and suffering to all relationships.
When we sought a bride for our son, we had mentioned that we belong to an affluent, educated and religious family. I want to reiterate it via deeds and hence rejected all dowry offers from your family. After your return from honeymoon you will spend a month with me during which time you will receive some basic orientation about our family, relatives and friends. You will then move to one of our fully furnished flats which will become your sweet home. I hope it will give you ample freedom to live and enjoy life and help you to learn and establish as a family. You will be able to make all life’s choices and those decisions shall fortify your role as a wife, mother and as a DIL.
At times when you need guidance, support or help, you are always welcome and I’m sure this out-of-box strategy will help to strengthen our bond.
Do you think that the society would have “Kuch Rang Saas Ke Aise Bhi”?
Category: MARITAL AWARENESS
About the Author (Author Profile)
I’m Fayaz Pasha from Bangalore, the Silicon Valley and Garden City of India. I’m a Certified Life Coach and an NLP Practitioner. I love reading, writing and convey my thoughts through Poetry. I would like to make my humble contribution to the Society through this blog towards detoxification of social evils particularly the dowry system.