• A Little About Me

    A Little About Me

    Hello and As Salamualaykum! Welcome aboard Muslim Wedding Flight and thank you very much for visiting my blog. I’m sure you must be bemused after reading this unusual blog title. Well, I got this idea while I was thinking about the various steps involved for a journey by flight. I wondered if people had to make meticulous […]

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  • Blog Roll

    Blog Roll

    Please find below links to some of the truly inspiring, motivating and informative blogs from the blogging fraternity.    Dowry  and Female Feticides http://www.itsagirlmovie.com/ http://saynotodowryenglish.blogspot.com/ http://www.firstpost.com/tag/dowry http://saynodowry.com/ http://www.boloji.com/index.cfm?md=Content&sd=Articles&ArticleID=1911 http://manasij.wordpress.com/2012/08/27/dowry/ http://blogs.thenewstribe.com/blog/67490/say-no-to-dowry-loud-clear/#.UNC1xm_qmSo http://twocircles.net/2012sep07/young_generation_urged_say_%E2%80%98no_dowry.html http://www.causes.com/causes/268995-anti-dowry-campaign-say-no-to-dowry Marriage http://www.srilankamuslims.net/nice-graphic-about-muslim-marriage-dowry/ http://muslimmarriages.wordpress.com/ http://imcv-marriage.blogspot.com/ http://deltawomen.blogspot.com/2012/12/mysore-marriage-curse-of-muslim-women.html http://www.weddinglegend.com/muslim-wedding-traditions/ http://muslimspice.com/why-american-muslim-women-cannot-get-married http://www.atlantabeez.org/muslim-marriages-experiencing-high-rate-of-divorce/ http://blog.halfourdeen.com/ http://www.muslimmarriageadvice.com/a-blessing-of-paradise/ http://islam44.blogspot.com/2012/11/find-muslim-life-partner-muslim.html http://theduncanadventures.blogspot.com/2012/11/my-first-omani-muslim-wedding.html http://nour-dv.org.uk/2012/09/10/muslim-marriage-certificate-review/ http://www.islam-muslim.net/muslim-marriage-shaadi/ http://www.lovemydress.net/blog/2012/08/muslim-wedding-explosion-of-colour-and-style.html http://www.aware.org.sg/2012/07/rethinking-the-muslim-marriage-contract/ http://blog.naseeb.com/2012/10/problems-faced-by-muslim-couples-after-marriage/ http://www.muslimweddingtips.com/muslim-marriage-contract/ http://islamiclearningmaterials.com/7-warning-signs-your-marriage-trouble/ http://blog.rukhsanakhan.com/date/2012/12/ Self-Development http://www.stevenaitchison.co.uk/blog/50-of-the-best-personal-development-blogs/ http://www.persistenceunlimited.com/2007/07/the-top-50-blogs-that-will-unleash-your-motivation/ […]

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  • Word a Day

    Word a Day

    Word of the Day Word of the Day provided by TheFreeDictionary   Quote of the Day Quote of the Day provided by TheFreeDictionary   Article of the Day Article of the Day provided by TheFreeDictionary   This Day in History This Day in History provided by TheFreeDictionary   Today’s Birthday Today’s Birthday provided by TheFreeDictionary […]

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  • Why Marry?

    Unfortunately, these are some of the (unmentioned) reasons that some parents conceal when deciding to marry their children: • Our son is frivolous and we hope that he will learn his responsibilities once he gets married. • The mother is old and sick and we need a woman (daughter in-law) who will look after the […]

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  • Marriage Planning

    Marriage Planning

    “If you fail to plan, you plan to fail’ Benjamin Franklin         Planning can be defined as a mental process to achieve some predetermined goals based on facts rather than guesses.  Some of the areas that require planning are : Life Goals, Personality, Academic/Religious Qualifications, Essential Skills, Hobbies and Interests,  Well-Being and Social Interests.  A […]

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I’m So Sorry

| September 14, 2013 | 12 Comments

I still remember it was such a beautiful day. The sun was bright and the presence of kith and kin, friends and neighbors made the day more festive. I was congratulated, complemented and also received a lot of compliments. There was so much joy and happiness around particularly in my family. The whole day was spent with lots of fun, food and enjoyment.

Today, after a gap of several years I realized that all that joy, happiness and celebration was felt only by me and my family. The smiles and laughter from you and your family were only outward while deep pain and worry had engulfed your family.

Your father had to sell away the only plot that he had bought from his retirement fund. He had also taken a bank loan to meet various requirements. When he was still unable to meet the requirements he had to borrow hand loans from relatives and friends.  However, when it became difficult to pay back the loans, your brother was forced to seek a job abroad. He was the only support for your parents and he too had to separate leaving your parents alone.

Your mother lost her life worrying about your brother’s separation and illness abroad and your younger sister’s marriage was delayed for over seven years until your brother had saved the required amount for dowry.

After learning about all the pain and misery of your family I’m at a loss of words to express my apologies for the shameful act of demanding dowry from your parents. I hang my head in shame and wonder about how many more families would be under the umbrella of this tortuous dowry system. How many more parents will sacrifice their life-long savings, how many more brothers will sacrifice their lives to save money for the wedding expenses? How many more like me are planning and preparing for the happiest day of their life that brings sorrow and worries for the rest of life to their In-Laws.

All that I did was to accede to the wishes of my parents, relatives and the Society to follow this dowry ritual.   I’m so sorry,  please pardon me for my biggest blunder and my request to all those who have not yet committed this crime would better amend their thoughts about dowry rather than regret for ever.

A regretful son and a husband.


How many bridegrooms do you think truly regret for all the misery they have brought to their spouse and her family?

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About the Author (Author Profile)

I’m Fayaz Pasha from Bangalore, the Silicon Valley and Garden City of India. I’m a Certified Life Coach and an NLP Practitioner. I love reading, writing and convey my thoughts through Poetry. I would like to make my humble contribution to the Society through this blog towards detoxification of social evils particularly the dowry system.

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Comments (12)

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  1. preethi prasan says:

    very well written sir. in a simple and effective way you have brought the repercussions of a dowry demand.

    • Fayaz Pasha says:

      Thank you preethi. As an inventor, Edison made 1,000 unsuccessful attempts at inventing the light bulb and then finally succeeded. Even if a million efforts are required to remove this evil from the Society, it would be worth attempting.

  2. Indrani says:

    It takes lot of courage to admit this and even more to stop this practice being followed by others. Simple and well written.

  3. matheikal says:

    Most people forget the third part. And that’s why the evil continues.

    Good post that can make one think once more about the evil of dowry.

  4. Harsha says:

    Indeed Fayaz this age old customs and traditions makes many families to live their life like hell..I sill don’t understand why even being in 21st century people are just not able to leave behind these mindless customs..
    Harsha recently posted…A Dream–Shopping in 2030My Profile

    • Fayaz Pasha says:

      Fear of Society, Parents, Relatives, Neighbors and/or Greed have kept this evil system alive. Once people make an effort to identify if it is their fear or greed that is haunting them to continue this evil, they will be able to take the right decision.

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