• Main Hoon Na

    Main Hoon Na

    A song dedicated to those parents who make bumper dowry offers during a marriage proposal When boy’s parents arrive with a marriage proposal, the girl’s father says: Daulat ka hai tumko ye bukhaar, main hoon na Dekhlo ladki ko ek baar, main hoon na Khaamosh kyun ho, jo bhi chahe tum kaho Dil chaahe jitna, maal […]

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  • Mother of all Evils

    Mother of all Evils

    Many parents consider giving dowry as their love, obligation and responsibility. However, understanding the concept of dowry and its impact on the society becomes crucial in the wake of suffering and deaths caused by this evil system which is mother of all evils. The dowry system dates back to the Babylonian period wherein daughters did […]

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  • 100th Post

    100th Post

    Hello and As Salamualaykum! Dear Readers, The Wedding Flight  took off on 31st December 2012 and has reached its 100th post. This blog focuses on bringing awareness on some of the social evils in the society particularly the dowry system. The rising number of divorces, female infanticide and dowry deaths is alarming and threatening the society.  […]

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  • Love, Obligation and Responsibility

    Love, Obligation and Responsibility

    A majority of parents make assumptions and presumptions regarding various aspects while seeking a spouse for their children. In addition, they are confused between the words Love, Obligation and Responsibility. Some parents assume giving dowry is due to their love for their daughter, some consider it as their obligation and some consider it as their […]

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  • Memorable Day of Life

    Memorable Day of Life

    Couples make elaborate wedding and honeymoon plans to make wedding the most memorable day of life but none for a life together. Additionally, many are looking for spouses to marry without looking at their responsibilities in a marriage. How ridiculous would it be for a person to go to a job interview without having read […]

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  • A Stitch in Time Saves Nine

    A Stitch in Time Saves Nine

    When a marital proposal is made some questions play a very crucial role in setting right many an expectations from all concerned. At this stage, a majority of them either ignore or hesitate to ask some crucial questions. Once this opportunity is lost, the spouses, parents and in-laws face a lot of trauma when situations […]

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  • To Mein Ye Rishta Pakka Samjhoon

    To Mein Ye Rishta Pakka Samjhoon

    VEERU: Maaji, bas itna samajh lo ke ghar mein sirf Bete ki kamai se kuch nahin hota. Aur uspar ghar ke kaam kaaj bhi bahut hotey hain na? Ek aur kamaai ho aur ghar ke kaam karnewaali ho to zindagi badi aasaan hojathi hai. Bhayya ka byah ho jaaye to dahej bhi milega na? MAAJI: […]

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  • Socially Apathetic

    Socially Apathetic

    Communication involves the imparting or interchanging of thoughts, opinions, or information among people by speech, writing, or signs.  In everyday life, a great deal of information is communicated through signs, symbols and written texts e.g. labels on food packages, traffic signs, street signs, company signs, safety signs, business signs, danger signs, zodiac signs, religious signs, […]

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  • Marital Expectations

    Marital Expectations

    A well knit family whose members are loving, affectionate, religious, educated, cultured and socially active starts crumbling, disintegrating, and the attitude of the family turns hostile, vicious, monstrous and sometimes murderous resulting in a drastic transformation such as the beauty and the beast. What can cause a collapse in the family ties? What can bring […]

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  • Main aur Meri Tanhai

    Main aur Meri Tanhai

    Bridegroom:  Main aur meri tanhai aksar yeh baatein kartein hain Dahej na hota to keisa hota, Na ladki pareshan hoti na maabaap pareshan hotey. Na wo kisi baat pe hairaan hotey, Na ladkiyan kisi baat pe afsos karti Na Bahoo ko yun jalaya jaata, Na gharse yun nikala jaata Na Maabaap ko sood pe kharza […]

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  • Employment Offer for a Wife

    Employment Offer for a Wife

    Every employee knows and understands the value of an “Employment Contract”, probation, appraisal, increment etc.  Salary, facilities and perks play a significant role for an employee. Suppose a person is offered a post in a company where no contract is signed and the employee is unaware of his salary, perks, rights and duties, etc; and […]

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    Terrorism has created extreme fear in the hearts of every common man. Terrorist attacks are deplorable and reprehensible that touches the core of a society and negates the most basic human rights. However, it is shocking to note that there lays a very huge difference between terror attacks that are condemned and deplored globally and […]

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  • Dowrywali Dulhania Le Jayenge

    Dowrywali Dulhania Le Jayenge

    Dowrywali Dulhania Le Jayenge Ye Kudiyaan Dowry Di Pudiyaan Ye Munde Fakhir De Kunde Ye Kudiyaan Dowry Di Pudiyaan Ye Munde Fakhir De Kunde Dowry Di Pudiyaan Fakhir De Kunde O  Jewelry kharidke rakhna Gaddi saja ke rakhna Jewelry kharidke rakhna Gaddi saja ke rakhna Lene Tujhse Wo Dowry Aayenge Tere Sajna Jewelry kharidke rakhna […]

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  • 2nd Anniversary Celebration

    2nd Anniversary Celebration

    Dear Readers, Hello and As Salamualaykum! The Muslim Wedding Flight was launched on 31st December 2012 with a vision to bring awareness on some of the decadent social evils in the society. Today, it marks the 2nd Anniversary of a beautiful journey with your support and kind appreciation. In these two years, attempts have been […]

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  • Socially Approved Kidnapping

    Socially Approved Kidnapping

    Dear Readers, Greetings! The spread of many social evils like dowry, child marriage, domestic violence, rape, sexual harassment, exploitation of women, kidnapping, etc. have marred the Indian Society and present a tarnished image to the whole world.  One of these social evils is kidnapping for ransom.  Bride kidnapping and socially approved kidnapping are also prevalent […]

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  • Reel And Real Life

    Reel And Real Life

    The Creator has designed different roles for human beings. However, these roles differ between Reel and Real Life. Actors and actresses bring characters to life and deliver believable and effective performances by memorizing lines and actions from scripts. They study scripts, rehearse performances and ensure that they conform the emotions, gestures and facial expressions to […]

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  • Are We Smart?

    Are We Smart?

    We live in an era of smart technology, smart phones, smart goals, smart cars, smart TVs, smart homes, smart traveler programs, smart schools, smart watches, smart music, etc. However, the million dollar question is Are We Smart? Modern technology has broadened options for travel, school, communication, entertainment, work, etc. Lives have been improved through convenience, […]

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  • Stop Bargaining and Start Negotiating

    Stop Bargaining and Start Negotiating

    Bargaining also known as haggling is an art in which most Indians particularly women have specialized.  Any purchase that results in a confrontation over price where some savings have been made seems worthy. It’s now time to stop bargaining and start negotiating.   However, bargaining power has been limited to haggling over the price of […]

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  • Huge Dowry or Huge Differences

    Huge Dowry or Huge Differences

    Weddings in India are steeped in tradition and culture. One of the traditions that have been passed down in time is the system of dowry.  The groom’s parents place a series of demands before the bride’s parents to give dowry items such as household appliances, color television, motor cycle or car, ornaments of pure gold […]

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  • Log Kya Kahenge

    Log Kya Kahenge

    There are many phobias and fears. Phobias of spiders, snakes, heights, water, tunnels, bridges, social rejection, examinations etc. Fears such as, fear of survival, fear of death, fear of the unknown, fear of uncertainty and unpredictably, etc. People develop specific fears as a result of learning. Fear can be learned by experiencing or watching a […]

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  • The Dowry Iceberg

    The Dowry Iceberg

    RMS Titanic was a British passenger liner that sank in the North Atlantic Ocean in the early morning of 15 April 1912 after colliding with an iceberg during her maiden voyage from Southampton, UK to New York City, US. The sinking of Titanic caused the deaths of more than 1,500 people in one of the […]

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  • Kaun Banega Pati Aur Lakhpati

    Who Wants to Be a Millionaire? (Sometimes informally known as Millionaire) is an International Television game show franchise of British origin, created in 1998 by David Briggs, Mike Whitehill, and Steven Knight. Kaun Banega Crorepati (Who will become a Millionaire; popularly known as KBC) is an Indian television game show based on the UK game […]

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  • Prevention Is Better Than Cure

    Prevention is better than cure is an old saying which means that we should prevent a disease by observing hygiene instead of letting the disease spread by causing further complications and deterioration and needing lots of efforts to cure it. Those who do not observe it usually suffer. When we nip the bud in the […]

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  • SAAS Compatible

    SAAS Compatible

    Compatibility is normally based on family, social and financial status, religious and cultural background, lineage,  core beliefs and values. Compatibility is also based on some of the following factors: Name Birth Chart Rashi and Nakshatra Numerology Horoscope Natal Chart Moon Charts Lagna Charts The families arrive at a decision after having undergone a lengthy process of […]

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  • What is Love?

    What is Love?

    When we ask What is love? Everyone says, Love is Giving Love is a Choice Love is Kindness Love is Empathy Love is Harmony Love is Devotion Love is Goodness Love is Friendship Love is Compassion Love is Attachment Love is being Tolerant Love is being Obedient Love is showing Respect Love is showing Understanding […]

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  • Eid Mubarak

    Eid Mubarak

    Dear Readers, Hello and As Salamualaykum! WISHING YOU ALL A VERY JOYOUS EID   Fayaz Pasha   Related posts: Thank You All Ramadan Mubarak Is he still a student?

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  • Is he still a student?

    Is he still a student?

    Dear Readers, Hello and As Salamualaykum! The Holy month of Ramadan is coming to a close for Muslims around the world. It is a time when millions reflect and pray for change.  Once prophet (SM) was climbing his pulpit in Madina, and his pulpit had 3 steps. Every step he climbed, he said Ameen; hearing […]

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  • A Prayer Of The Prey

    A Prayer Of The Prey

    Hello and As Salamualaykum! Ramadan is half way through and the blessed month will soon end with the celebration of Eid-Ul-Fitr. Those who understood the significance of this blessed month would certainly reap the blessings of Almighty Allah and those who observed it as a yearly ritual wouldn’t be able to perceive it until they […]

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  • Ramadan Mubarak

    Ramadan Mubarak

    Ramadan is much more than fasting.  It is a workshop where Muslims get trained to re-evaluate their lives in the light of Islamic guidance. It is essentially a month to detox physically, mentally and spiritually. Through fasting, a Muslim experiences hunger and thirst, and sympathizes with those in the world who have little to eat […]

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  • Weapons of Mass Destruction

    Weapons of Mass Destruction

    We know that the Weapons of  Mass Destruction by definition Are those that kill a large number of  people and their habitation.   Destructive weapons are chemical, biological, radio-logical and nuclear But all those who stand for peace and harmony have amassed these weapons is very peculiar   Countries vie with each other to buy […]

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  • Blog Roll

    Blog Roll

    Please find below links to some of the truly inspiring, motivating and informative blogs from the blogging fraternity.    Dowry  and Female Feticides http://www.itsagirlmovie.com/ http://saynotodowryenglish.blogspot.com/ http://www.firstpost.com/tag/dowry http://saynodowry.com/ http://www.boloji.com/index.cfm?md=Content&sd=Articles&ArticleID=1911 http://manasij.wordpress.com/2012/08/27/dowry/ http://blogs.thenewstribe.com/blog/67490/say-no-to-dowry-loud-clear/#.UNC1xm_qmSo http://twocircles.net/2012sep07/young_generation_urged_say_%E2%80%98no_dowry.html http://www.causes.com/causes/268995-anti-dowry-campaign-say-no-to-dowry Marriage http://www.srilankamuslims.net/nice-graphic-about-muslim-marriage-dowry/ http://muslimmarriages.wordpress.com/ http://imcv-marriage.blogspot.com/ http://deltawomen.blogspot.com/2012/12/mysore-marriage-curse-of-muslim-women.html http://www.weddinglegend.com/muslim-wedding-traditions/ http://muslimspice.com/why-american-muslim-women-cannot-get-married http://www.atlantabeez.org/muslim-marriages-experiencing-high-rate-of-divorce/ http://blog.halfourdeen.com/ http://www.muslimmarriageadvice.com/a-blessing-of-paradise/ http://islam44.blogspot.com/2012/11/find-muslim-life-partner-muslim.html http://theduncanadventures.blogspot.com/2012/11/my-first-omani-muslim-wedding.html http://nour-dv.org.uk/2012/09/10/muslim-marriage-certificate-review/ http://www.islam-muslim.net/muslim-marriage-shaadi/ http://www.lovemydress.net/blog/2012/08/muslim-wedding-explosion-of-colour-and-style.html http://www.aware.org.sg/2012/07/rethinking-the-muslim-marriage-contract/ http://blog.naseeb.com/2012/10/problems-faced-by-muslim-couples-after-marriage/ http://www.muslimweddingtips.com/muslim-marriage-contract/ http://islamiclearningmaterials.com/7-warning-signs-your-marriage-trouble/ http://blog.rukhsanakhan.com/date/2012/12/ Self-Development http://www.stevenaitchison.co.uk/blog/50-of-the-best-personal-development-blogs/ http://www.persistenceunlimited.com/2007/07/the-top-50-blogs-that-will-unleash-your-motivation/ […]

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  • Word a Day

    Word a Day

    Word of the Day Word of the Day provided by TheFreeDictionary   Quote of the Day Quote of the Day provided by TheFreeDictionary   Article of the Day Article of the Day provided by TheFreeDictionary   This Day in History This Day in History provided by TheFreeDictionary   Today’s Birthday Today’s Birthday provided by TheFreeDictionary […]

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  • Why Marry?

    Unfortunately, these are some of the (unmentioned) reasons that some parents conceal when deciding to marry their children: • Our son is frivolous and we hope that he will learn his responsibilities once he gets married. • The mother is old and sick and we need a woman (daughter in-law) who will look after the […]

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All That Glitters Is Not Gold

| January 8, 2014 | 12 Comments

Most of you are aware of the 80/20 rule. The Pareto principle (also known as the 80–20 rule) is named after Italian economist Vilfredo Pareto, who observed in 1906 that 80% of the land in Italy was owned by 20% of the population; Pareto developed the principle by observing that 20% of the pea pods in his garden contained 80% of the peas.

If we apply the above rule, 20% of the social evils are responsible for 80% problems in our Society.  The mother of all evils is “Dowry” which has engulfed the nation with all other social evils.

The pressure of dowry on the bride’s family is borne out in the statistic that 80% of bank loans in India are taken to meet marriage costs and dowry demands. Indians adore gold and some brides wear jewelry just as it is displayed in a showroom. The gold will show-off the prosperity and the stand of the family in the Society. This love for gold has not only affected every single family but has also jeopardized the economy of the nation.

jewelry shop

Apart from import of petrol, India imports more than 600 tons of gold each year equal to 75 percent of the current account deficit. Government is mulling ways to curb gold imports, as it is causing trade gap to widen.  India consumed 864 tons of gold used for jewelry, bars and coins in 2012.

An estimated 25,000 tons of gold in the form of jewelry is held by Indian households which is unproductive. The purchase of gold for marriages (around 12,000 marriages a day) falls between 300-400 tons annually. Gold prices rose 64% from January 2010 to September 2011. Economists predict that higher per capita income will cause the average amount of gold used in weddings to double over the next five years.

A nation’s prosperity is based solely on average income per person (GDP per capita). However, it is also the joy of everyday life and the prospect of being able to build an even better life in the future which is more important than accumulation of wealth. The Legatum Prosperity Index is an annual ranking, developed by the Legatum Institute, of 142 Countries. The ranking is based on a variety of factors including economy Entrepreneurship & Opportunity, Governance, Education, Health, Safety & Security, Personal Freedom and Social quality of life.

Norway, Switzerland, Canada, Sweden, New Zealand, Denmark, Australia, Finland, Netherlands and Luxembourg are on the top-ten list and India holds 106th position on the prosperity index. If you would like to know further details about what makes these countries to be on the top list of 142 nations, please visit the following link:

Source: http://www.prosperity.com/#!/

Day-in and day-out we talk, discuss and day dream about bringing changes in the Society to address problems and issues like corruption and social evils that have almost destroyed the fabric of our Society. However decades pass by and we see no change since we wish individually but do nothing collectively as a Society.

In 1970s Finland was one of the world’s unhealthiest nations as it held the world record for heart diseases. Diet was poor, people were inactive and heart disease was at record levels. Everybody was smoking and eating a lot of fat. Finnish men considered vegetables were meant for rabbits, so people simply did not eat vegetables. The staples were butter on bread, full-fat milk and fatty meat.

Instead of telling people what not to do, entire villages and towns were set against each other in quitting smoking, cholesterol-cutting and involvement in other healthy activities by motivating them and rewarding them with prizes.  Finland “was set up to get even the most unsporting kids into sport. Hundreds of local schemes were set up to encourage inactive people into physical activity.

Finland now finds itself in the spotlight from health officials across the world that are desperate to find out what it was the Finns got so right. In less than two generations, the Finnish lifestyle became the envy of the world. Now it’s one of the fittest countries on earth.

One of the reasons why it was easy to change the mind-set of the nation was because of their education. Higher education is completely free as Finland views education as a basic human right, and as such, is provided free of cost to students. Thus, they can get as much education as they want at no cost to them as it is good for society.

In a similar situation, Indian economy is being damaged by importing tons of gold each year. The Jewelry market in India is attracting the customers by offering discounts, installment schemes or a gram of gold upon purchase of jewelry. Banks are providing loans for purchasing gold. The loan carries an interest rate between the ranges of 10-12 per cent. Those who have financial constraints opt for these schemes and eventually fall into huge debts.

As it is said “All that glitters is not gold”, If this fatal attraction to gold particularly purchasing jewelry for marriages is curbed, we can not only save many families from debts and miseries untold but also dampen gold imports leading to a positive change in the account deficit of the nation. This can only happen collectively as a Society just like the collective efforts of Finns resulted in a healthiest nation.

“If you choose to not deal with an issue,
then you give up your right of control over the issue
and it will select the path of least resistance.”

― Susan Del Gatto

In the long run, we shape our lives, and we shape ourselves. The process never ends until we die. And the choices we make are ultimately our own responsibility.

Eleanor Roosevelt

What suggestions, measures, schemes do you suggest to motivate the public in curbing the practice of buying or hoarding gold in order to address this concern that is resulting in a financial doom for families and the nation as a whole?

Your feedback and suggestions are highly appreciated.

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Category: Uncategorized

About the Author (Author Profile)

I’m Fayaz Pasha from Bangalore, the Silicon Valley and Garden City of India. I’m a Certified Life Coach and an NLP Practitioner. I love reading, writing and convey my thoughts through Poetry. I would like to make my humble contribution to the Society through this blog towards detoxification of social evils particularly the dowry system.

Comments (12)

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  1. numerounity says:

    Your posts has lot of weight in it and off course lovely jewelry! Alas! These days the trend has been reversed with girls asking dowry than guys…Honestly where r those good girls who r not getting married just cause they cannot give high dowry?

    Let me know few, I will get them married to nice families.

    numerounity recently posted…Recharge & RejoiceMy Profile

    • Fayaz Pasha says:

      Thank you Ekta! I’m glad to learn that the trend is changing and girls are demanding dowry which is their right. That would be a big service to the Society as many parents are still worried for their daughters’ marriages due to manifold dowry demands.

  2. Anita says:

    You have very rightly presented a true picture. Agree with all your valid points! :)

  3. sindhoooo says:

    Your posts are filled with facts and vision. Thanks for the GK and making we readers think of something great for the country.

    I feel, the main reason for our under-development is corruption. People who have accumulated black money buy kgs of gold! Yes, dowry system makes thousands of families suffer. But, even after banning dowry, situation is not much changed. What we lack is implementation of the laws and rules…

    The Arts & Me
    sindhoooo recently posted…Plain Sari Into Printed One – Painting With ThreadMy Profile

    • Fayaz Pasha says:

      Well, corruption is also a by-product of dowry system. Implementation of laws and rules is one side of the coin while we as Citizens should also have concern about the deterioration of the Society due to our compliance with culture & traditions that have added more misery to the Society and the Nation.

      Thank you Sindhoo for your kind input and appreciation.

  4. Indrani says:

    People should be forced to declare their gold assets and there should be limit set by Govt. how much one can hoard!
    Ridiculous – this greed for gold.

    • Fayaz Pasha says:

      Hmm! if people are forced to declare their gold assets, they would declare themselves as belonging to BPL. One thing probably could be implemented is that Customs Officials should visit marriage halls and collect on the spot 25% tax for exceeding a certain limit of gold in marriages.

      On one side there’s greed to possess gold and on the other side there’s fear that daughters wouldn’t get married if they are not given half a kilo gold.

  5. Athenas Take says:

    I feel that gold in our country is one of the most over rated asset that we have. Most of us have so much gold that it just sleeps in a locker. As women having gold is important, but we need to draw a line between what is needed and what is greed.

    Making a choice to not buy gold and invest that amount elsewhere will surely be good for both the country and us.

    A very detailed article with very important figures that we should keep track off. I will agree with Fayaz and say that modesty is the best jewel that any lady can possess and that is surely a lot more than gold.
    Athenas Take recently posted…SELF PROTECTION – THE NEED OF THE HOURMy Profile

    • Fayaz Pasha says:

      Rightly said that there must be a line drawn between need and greed. One major reason why women are forced to buy more jewelry is to give to their daughter as part of the dowry. Like sweets, people are demanding half a kilo to one kilo gold in dowry. Those who have are proud to give and those who don’t are caught in the web of loans and debts. By conforming and fulfilling this unethical wish, a majority of families are suffering and as well as damaging the Nation’s economy too.

      Modesty and Virtues will truly weigh more than gold.

      Thank you Athena for your insight and kind suggestions.

  6. Dear Fayaz,

    Very nice post…loved your Finland story, living very close to the country, I didn’t know this history of the country. Got to know some more interesting data and facts.
    I resonate your thoughts and am totally against dowry as I feel its humiliating for women.

    Hope you continue on your noble mission.

    • Fayaz Pasha says:

      While researching the reasons for prosperity, health etc. of the top notch nations, I happened to discover about Finland and I truly envy the Country and its Citizens for bringing in revolutionary changes.

      Thank you Swati for dropping by and for your encouraging comments.

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