• Vehicle Inspection

    Vehicle Inspection

    Vehicle inspection is mandatory in many countries to ensure that vehicles conform to safety, emissions and road worthiness.  A sticker is usually placed on the windshield of those vehicles that pass inspection.  In some countries cars older than two years are required to have a yearly inspection and those that are older than 15 years are […]

    Continue Reading

  • Benefits of Fasting in Ramzan

    Benefits of Fasting in Ramzan

    Dear Readers, Hello and As Salamualaykum! Ramzan Sawm (Fasting) is one of the five pillars of Islam and the ninth month of the Muslim calendar. The meaning of Sawm is to ‘abstain’.  Ramzan is an annual workshop to refresh us for carrying out our duties towards Allah (SWT). Fasting develops patience, self-control and helps us […]

    Continue Reading

  • Compromise and a Sacrifice

    Compromise and a Sacrifice

    On or before the wedding day, the daughter usually receives some marital tips from her mother or close relatives for a successful marriage and one of them is to make lots of compromises in order to have a lasting and a happy marriage. It is therefore necessary to understand the difference between a compromise and […]

    Continue Reading

  • A Company and a Companion

    A Company and a Companion

    When seeking a job opportunity in a company or a life companion, a majority of them accept a job based on compensation or choose a life-partner based on qualifications, salary or physical features. However, there are many a factors that need to be sought and understood before one decides to choose a company and a […]

    Continue Reading

  • Sammaan ya Apmaan

    Sammaan ya Apmaan

    Kehne ko tho saari duniya mein aurath ka samman hotha hai Aaj samaaj mein aurath ka utna hi apman ho raha hai Agar paida honey se pehle beti honey ka pata chal gaya Subse pehle Maa-Baap ne usko garbh se phenk diya Ladkon ne zabardasti jab apni chahat ko manwana chaha Aur agar inkar kiya […]

    Continue Reading

  • Rites that are Wrongs

    Rites that are Wrongs

    Day in and day out we witness many families who are trapped in a roller coaster of emotional and financial turmoil. Most of the problems arise due to our need to conform to some of the cultural and traditional rites that are wrongs. The major cause of many a problems and suffering is the result of our unconscious […]

    Continue Reading

  • As you sow so shall you reap

    As you sow so shall you reap

    A plant To be nurtured with care If you wish your life to be fair If you plant honesty, you will reap trust If you plant faith, you will reap miracles If you plant goodness, you will reap friends If you plant humility, you will reap greatness If you plant hard work, you will reap […]

    Continue Reading

  • Partner or Opponent

    Partner or Opponent

    In a marriage, one chooses a life-partner.   However, if the choice is purely materialistic (dowry based or some deal), there are chances that one would end up not with a partner but with an opponent.  It is thus important to know if the so-called life-partner is truly a partner or opponent. Suppose a person […]

    Continue Reading

  • Main Hoon Na

    Main Hoon Na

    A song dedicated to those parents who make bumper dowry offers during a marriage proposal When boy’s parents arrive with a marriage proposal, the girl’s father says: Daulat ka hai tumko ye bukhaar, main hoon na Dekhlo ladki ko ek baar, main hoon na Khaamosh kyun ho, jo bhi chahe tum kaho Dil chaahe jitna, maal […]

    Continue Reading

  • Mother of all Evils

    Mother of all Evils

    Many parents consider giving dowry as their love, obligation and responsibility. However, understanding the concept of dowry and its impact on the society becomes crucial in the wake of suffering and deaths caused by this evil system which is mother of all evils. The dowry system dates back to the Babylonian period wherein daughters did […]

    Continue Reading

  • 100th Post

    100th Post

    Hello and As Salamualaykum! Dear Readers, The Wedding Flight  took off on 31st December 2012 and has reached its 100th post. This blog focuses on bringing awareness on some of the social evils in the society particularly the dowry system. The rising number of divorces, female infanticide and dowry deaths is alarming and threatening the society.  […]

    Continue Reading

  • Love, Obligation and Responsibility

    Love, Obligation and Responsibility

    A majority of parents make assumptions and presumptions regarding various aspects while seeking a spouse for their children. In addition, they are confused between the words Love, Obligation and Responsibility. Some parents assume giving dowry is due to their love for their daughter, some consider it as their obligation and some consider it as their […]

    Continue Reading

  • Memorable Day of Life

    Memorable Day of Life

    Couples make elaborate wedding and honeymoon plans to make wedding the most memorable day of life but none for a life together. Additionally, many are looking for spouses to marry without looking at their responsibilities in a marriage. How ridiculous would it be for a person to go to a job interview without having read […]

    Continue Reading

  • A Stitch in Time Saves Nine

    A Stitch in Time Saves Nine

    When a marital proposal is made some questions play a very crucial role in setting right many an expectations from all concerned. At this stage, a majority of them either ignore or hesitate to ask some crucial questions. Once this opportunity is lost, the spouses, parents and in-laws face a lot of trauma when situations […]

    Continue Reading

  • To Mein Ye Rishta Pakka Samjhoon

    To Mein Ye Rishta Pakka Samjhoon

    VEERU: Maaji, bas itna samajh lo ke ghar mein sirf Bete ki kamai se kuch nahin hota. Aur uspar ghar ke kaam kaaj bhi bahut hotey hain na? Ek aur kamaai ho aur ghar ke kaam karnewaali ho to zindagi badi aasaan hojathi hai. Bhayya ka byah ho jaaye to dahej bhi milega na? MAAJI: […]

    Continue Reading

  • Socially Apathetic

    Socially Apathetic

    Communication involves the imparting or interchanging of thoughts, opinions, or information among people by speech, writing, or signs.  In everyday life, a great deal of information is communicated through signs, symbols and written texts e.g. labels on food packages, traffic signs, street signs, company signs, safety signs, business signs, danger signs, zodiac signs, religious signs, […]

    Continue Reading

  • Marital Expectations

    Marital Expectations

    A well knit family whose members are loving, affectionate, religious, educated, cultured and socially active starts crumbling, disintegrating, and the attitude of the family turns hostile, vicious, monstrous and sometimes murderous resulting in a drastic transformation such as the beauty and the beast. What can cause a collapse in the family ties? What can bring […]

    Continue Reading

  • Main aur Meri Tanhai

    Main aur Meri Tanhai

    Bridegroom:  Main aur meri tanhai aksar yeh baatein kartein hain Dahej na hota to keisa hota, Na ladki pareshan hoti na maabaap pareshan hotey. Na wo kisi baat pe hairaan hotey, Na ladkiyan kisi baat pe afsos karti Na Bahoo ko yun jalaya jaata, Na gharse yun nikala jaata Na Maabaap ko sood pe kharza […]

    Continue Reading

  • Employment Offer for a Wife

    Employment Offer for a Wife

    Every employee knows and understands the value of an “Employment Contract”, probation, appraisal, increment etc.  Salary, facilities and perks play a significant role for an employee. Suppose a person is offered a post in a company where no contract is signed and the employee is unaware of his salary, perks, rights and duties, etc; and […]

    Continue Reading

  • CONDEMNED AND CONDONED TERRORISM

    Terrorism has created extreme fear in the hearts of every common man. Terrorist attacks are deplorable and reprehensible that touches the core of a society and negates the most basic human rights. However, it is shocking to note that there lays a very huge difference between terror attacks that are condemned and deplored globally and […]

    Continue Reading

  • Dowrywali Dulhania Le Jayenge

    Dowrywali Dulhania Le Jayenge

    Dowrywali Dulhania Le Jayenge Ye Kudiyaan Dowry Di Pudiyaan Ye Munde Fakhir De Kunde Ye Kudiyaan Dowry Di Pudiyaan Ye Munde Fakhir De Kunde Dowry Di Pudiyaan Fakhir De Kunde O  Jewelry kharidke rakhna Gaddi saja ke rakhna Jewelry kharidke rakhna Gaddi saja ke rakhna Lene Tujhse Wo Dowry Aayenge Tere Sajna Jewelry kharidke rakhna […]

    Continue Reading

  • 2nd Anniversary Celebration

    2nd Anniversary Celebration

    Dear Readers, Hello and As Salamualaykum! The Muslim Wedding Flight was launched on 31st December 2012 with a vision to bring awareness on some of the decadent social evils in the society. Today, it marks the 2nd Anniversary of a beautiful journey with your support and kind appreciation. In these two years, attempts have been […]

    Continue Reading

  • Socially Approved Kidnapping

    Socially Approved Kidnapping

    Dear Readers, Greetings! The spread of many social evils like dowry, child marriage, domestic violence, rape, sexual harassment, exploitation of women, kidnapping, etc. have marred the Indian Society and present a tarnished image to the whole world.  One of these social evils is kidnapping for ransom.  Bride kidnapping and socially approved kidnapping are also prevalent […]

    Continue Reading

  • Reel And Real Life

    Reel And Real Life

    The Creator has designed different roles for human beings. However, these roles differ between Reel and Real Life. Actors and actresses bring characters to life and deliver believable and effective performances by memorizing lines and actions from scripts. They study scripts, rehearse performances and ensure that they conform the emotions, gestures and facial expressions to […]

    Continue Reading

  • Are We Smart?

    Are We Smart?

    We live in an era of smart technology, smart phones, smart goals, smart cars, smart TVs, smart homes, smart traveler programs, smart schools, smart watches, smart music, etc. However, the million dollar question is Are We Smart? Modern technology has broadened options for travel, school, communication, entertainment, work, etc. Lives have been improved through convenience, […]

    Continue Reading

  • Stop Bargaining and Start Negotiating

    Stop Bargaining and Start Negotiating

    Bargaining also known as haggling is an art in which most Indians particularly women have specialized.  Any purchase that results in a confrontation over price where some savings have been made seems worthy. It’s now time to stop bargaining and start negotiating.   However, bargaining power has been limited to haggling over the price of […]

    Continue Reading

  • Huge Dowry or Huge Differences

    Huge Dowry or Huge Differences

    Weddings in India are steeped in tradition and culture. One of the traditions that have been passed down in time is the system of dowry.  The groom’s parents place a series of demands before the bride’s parents to give dowry items such as household appliances, color television, motor cycle or car, ornaments of pure gold […]

    Continue Reading

  • Log Kya Kahenge

    Log Kya Kahenge

    There are many phobias and fears. Phobias of spiders, snakes, heights, water, tunnels, bridges, social rejection, examinations etc. Fears such as, fear of survival, fear of death, fear of the unknown, fear of uncertainty and unpredictably, etc. People develop specific fears as a result of learning. Fear can be learned by experiencing or watching a […]

    Continue Reading

  • The Dowry Iceberg

    The Dowry Iceberg

    RMS Titanic was a British passenger liner that sank in the North Atlantic Ocean in the early morning of 15 April 1912 after colliding with an iceberg during her maiden voyage from Southampton, UK to New York City, US. The sinking of Titanic caused the deaths of more than 1,500 people in one of the […]

    Continue Reading

  • Kaun Banega Pati Aur Lakhpati

    Who Wants to Be a Millionaire? (Sometimes informally known as Millionaire) is an International Television game show franchise of British origin, created in 1998 by David Briggs, Mike Whitehill, and Steven Knight. Kaun Banega Crorepati (Who will become a Millionaire; popularly known as KBC) is an Indian television game show based on the UK game […]

    Continue Reading

  • Blog Roll

    Blog Roll

    Please find below links to some of the truly inspiring, motivating and informative blogs from the blogging fraternity.    Dowry  and Female Feticides http://www.itsagirlmovie.com/ http://saynotodowryenglish.blogspot.com/ http://www.firstpost.com/tag/dowry http://saynodowry.com/ http://www.boloji.com/index.cfm?md=Content&sd=Articles&ArticleID=1911 http://manasij.wordpress.com/2012/08/27/dowry/ http://blogs.thenewstribe.com/blog/67490/say-no-to-dowry-loud-clear/#.UNC1xm_qmSo http://twocircles.net/2012sep07/young_generation_urged_say_%E2%80%98no_dowry.html http://www.causes.com/causes/268995-anti-dowry-campaign-say-no-to-dowry Marriage http://www.srilankamuslims.net/nice-graphic-about-muslim-marriage-dowry/ http://muslimmarriages.wordpress.com/ http://imcv-marriage.blogspot.com/ http://deltawomen.blogspot.com/2012/12/mysore-marriage-curse-of-muslim-women.html http://www.weddinglegend.com/muslim-wedding-traditions/ http://muslimspice.com/why-american-muslim-women-cannot-get-married http://www.atlantabeez.org/muslim-marriages-experiencing-high-rate-of-divorce/ http://blog.halfourdeen.com/ http://www.muslimmarriageadvice.com/a-blessing-of-paradise/ http://islam44.blogspot.com/2012/11/find-muslim-life-partner-muslim.html http://theduncanadventures.blogspot.com/2012/11/my-first-omani-muslim-wedding.html http://nour-dv.org.uk/2012/09/10/muslim-marriage-certificate-review/ http://www.islam-muslim.net/muslim-marriage-shaadi/ http://www.lovemydress.net/blog/2012/08/muslim-wedding-explosion-of-colour-and-style.html http://www.aware.org.sg/2012/07/rethinking-the-muslim-marriage-contract/ http://blog.naseeb.com/2012/10/problems-faced-by-muslim-couples-after-marriage/ http://www.muslimweddingtips.com/muslim-marriage-contract/ http://islamiclearningmaterials.com/7-warning-signs-your-marriage-trouble/ http://blog.rukhsanakhan.com/date/2012/12/ Self-Development http://www.stevenaitchison.co.uk/blog/50-of-the-best-personal-development-blogs/ http://www.persistenceunlimited.com/2007/07/the-top-50-blogs-that-will-unleash-your-motivation/ […]

    Continue Reading

  • Contact
  • Word a Day

    Word a Day

    Word of the Day Word of the Day provided by TheFreeDictionary   Quote of the Day Quote of the Day provided by TheFreeDictionary   Article of the Day Article of the Day provided by TheFreeDictionary   This Day in History This Day in History provided by TheFreeDictionary   Today’s Birthday Today’s Birthday provided by TheFreeDictionary […]

    Continue Reading

  • Why Marry?

    Unfortunately, these are some of the (unmentioned) reasons that some parents conceal when deciding to marry their children: • Our son is frivolous and we hope that he will learn his responsibilities once he gets married. • The mother is old and sick and we need a woman (daughter in-law) who will look after the […]

    Continue Reading

banner ad

Do you want your daughter or son to embark on a miserable marital journey?

| February 6, 2014 | 14 Comments

Humans believe so many lies because we aren’t aware. We ignore the truth or we just don’t see the truth. When we are educated, we accumulate a lot of knowledge, and all that knowledge is just like a wall of fog that doesn’t allow us to perceive the truth, what really is.

Miguel Angel Ruiz

In a majority of marriage proposals parents seek a spouse that is religious and educated and proposals are accepted based on conformity of these two requirements. A few examples are mentioned below:

  • Girl must be religious, beautiful, educated
  • Applicant should be extremely religious, decent & educated.
  • Groom should be religious; engineer / post Graduate
  • Seeking a well educated, religious, fair complexion Bride
  • Groom should be well educated
  • Software professional at an MNC, seeking qualified religious bride
  • Groom should be well qualified, B.E./MBA/MCA
  • Girl should be religious, graduate, beautiful and homely

However, in a majority of relationships where both partners declared that they are religious and educated, the following has been observed:

  • He has been verbally, emotionally and physically abusive.
  • She has been suffering from her husband’s bad treatment, beatings, humiliation in front of her children, in front of strangers and always throwing her out of the house.
  • I am pregnant and have serious difficulties in my marriage. I have been working to pay most of rent money, clothing expense, food, doctor bills, etc. My husband gives me some money for rent. My doctors have told me the pregnancy is “at-risk” due to my health. I have tried to quit work, but my husband disagrees. He becomes extremely angry with me at times.
  • I have been married for 8 months and have faced many problems with my husband. He started beating me very badly and stopped me from going to my friends, relatives and even my parents.
  • I have been married for 4 years and a half. My husband has an anger problem. He is extremely nervous and gets angry at everyone and everything.
  • My husband beats me a lot…he never treats me in a good manner…he is always ignoring….He gets angry on me for silly things and then starts saying bad words and all of a sudden he gets so hyper that he starts beating me brutally.

If “Educated” meant to be the holder of a Degree or Diploma Certificate and “Religious” meant to be following a few religious obligations, it is time for parents to seek a clear definition of what the words “Educated” and “Religious” mean.

The following is a thesaurus for the words “Educated and “Religious” as defined in: http://www.thefreedictionary.com

Educated:

  1. Cultured – marked by refinement in taste and manners; “cultivated speech”
  2. Lettered – highly educated; having extensive information or understanding
  3. Intellectual: Developed by or relying on the intellect rather than emotions or feelings; rational
  4. Learned: Possessing or demonstrating profound, often systematic knowledge; erudite.
  5. Informed: having much knowledge or education.
  6. Experienced: Skilled or knowledgeable as the result of active participation or practice.
  7. Polished – showing a high degree of refinement and the assurance that comes from wide social experience; “his polished manner”;
  8. Literary: versed in or acquainted with literature; well-read. 
  9. Sophisticated – intellectually appealing.
  10. Refined – (used of persons and their behavior) cultivated and genteel.
  11. Cultivated – marked by refinement in taste and manners; “cultivated speech”;
  12. Enlightened – having knowledge and spiritual insight.
  13. Knowledgeable – thoroughly acquainted through study or experience.
  14. Civilized: Showing evidence of moral and intellectual advancement; humane, ethical, and reasonable.
  15. Tasteful: Having, showing, or being in keeping with good taste.
  16. Urbane Polite, refined, and often elegant in manner.
  17. Erudite: having or showing profound knowledge;
  18. Well-Bred: Of a good family; having a good pedigree.

Religious

  1. Devout: devoted to religion or to the fulfillment of religious obligations.
  2. Believing: To have firm faith, especially religious faith.
  3. Godly: Having great reverence for God; pious.
  4. Committed – bound or obligated, as under a pledge to a particular cause, action, or attitude
  5. Holy: Belonging to, derived from, or associated with a divine power; sacred.
  6. Practicing: Actively working in, engaged in, or observing, especially a particular profession or religion
  7. Faithful: Adhering firmly and devotedly, as to a person, cause, or idea; loyal.
  8. Pious: Having or exhibiting religious reverence; earnestly compliant in the observance of religion

If a spouse is able to conform to the above and then declare in their “Bio-Data” that they are “Educated” and “Religious”, a majority of the marital problems and social evils in the society would get eliminated and there would be more happiness and prosperity between the marital partners.

If you are seeking marriage or a spouse for your daughter/son, instead of being satisfied with mere academic qualifications and observance of a couple of religious obligations, it would be much better to ascertain if the would-be spouse is truly educated and religious. This verification can save your daughter/son from a miserable marital life.

Do you want your daughter or son to embark on a miserable marital journey?

Tags: , , , , , , , ,

Category: Uncategorized

About the Author (Author Profile)

I’m Fayaz Pasha from Bangalore, the Silicon Valley and Garden City of India. I’m a Certified Life Coach and an NLP Practitioner. I love reading, writing and convey my thoughts through Poetry. I would like to make my humble contribution to the Society through this blog towards detoxification of social evils particularly the dowry system.

Comments (14)

Trackback URL | Comments RSS Feed

  1. I couldn’t help but laugh while reading your post in realization of how truthful it really is. Unfortunately it is no laughing matter, especially when so many peoples lives and happiness are involved. I pray this can serve as an eye opener and inspiration to change insha Allah. We are a Muslim Matrimonial Site and we have experience in seeing many similar above mentioned adds for marriage and also trying to minimize this through our own blog. We thank you for your article

    • Fayaz Pasha says:

      Thank you for dropping by and very true that in regards to crucial matters we accept things on face value and do not seek or provide detailed information that would help to avoid future misunderstandings or problems in the relationships. However, in all other matters that are related to investing even smaller amount of money, we thoroughly investigate and satisfy ourselves if our investment is protected.

  2. sindhoooo says:

    A must read post! Being educated is something different than being literate! Today, the most people are only literate rather than educated!

    Regards,
    Sindhu
    Tantu
    The Arts & Me
    sindhoooo recently posted…How To Make Raglan Bodice & Raglan Sleeves?My Profile

    • Fayaz Pasha says:

      This was the pinnacle point of the post. There’s certainly a huge difference between being qualified and educated. Being educated is a recipe that should have several ingredients apart from being just qualified which is only one ingredient.

  3. zooni khan says:

    i agree with ur observations…

  4. Amrita Sabat says:

    Very correctly written. I agree wid your points but also believe that one’s nature can’t fully be judged from before. Thus, lot of compromises/adjustments r needed.
    Also like Indrani says, how to collect relevant trustworthy info on the person?! For all U know, most ppl may hav a gr8 impression about him, yet within four walls he maybe quite an abuser!!

    • Fayaz Pasha says:

      The intention behind the post was to highlight the true meaning of being called “Educated” and “Religious”. There’s no gadget to check or judge a person’s character. However, just like a lot is perceived about the applicant’s behavior, traits etc. from an employment interview, some questions and little research would give a better picture about the person.

  5. Indrani says:

    These points are good, but it is hard to verify! One has to dig up old contacts and neighborhood. Another important point is getting health check up and knowing blood groups.

  6. Anita says:

    Very correct observations. Nicely listed & analysed.
    Sad that well-educated & religious people have indulged in horrible crimes. Feel helpless reading the newspapers.
    Thing is, we don’t know about a person till we stay with them… Sad state.

    • Fayaz Pasha says:

      Thanks! It is unfortunate that the so-called educated and religious also behave in the same manner as illiterates. If we want to buy a TV, Mobile, Music System, washing machine etc., we do not bring them home for a trial. We do lots of research before buying things but are hesitant to verify important matters about the spouse’s habits, behavior, character etc., and leave it for destiny to solve and thus the problems arise.

  7. Athenas Take says:

    The problem with the Indian marriage set up is that we focus our attention only on the outwardly stuff. After that the only two words you will hear is adjustment and compromise. A little bit of sensible thinking from the parents and the boy or girl will surely make a difference. Agree with you 100% and sharing this all my friends so that they too can see and learn.
    Athenas Take recently posted…STOP BIDDING START CHOOSINGMy Profile

    • Fayaz Pasha says:

      Very true! These two words “Adjustment and Compromise” have put many lives into jeopardy. Its just like sending a soldier to war without weaponry training and asking them to adjust and manage the consequences.

      Thanks again for sharing the post.

Leave a Reply

CommentLuv badge