• Suicide As A Last Resort

    Suicide As A Last Resort

    Day in and day out we hear or read about suicides committed by young married women such as: “A 22-year-old woman was being harassed by her husband for trivial reasons. Unable to bear harassment, she resorted to the extreme step by setting herself ablaze on November 4 where she succumbed on Sunday night. A 28-year-old […]

    Continue Reading

  • Inquire and Investigate

    When we intend to buy a car, a smart phone, a laptop or a television we inquire and investigate and do enormous research on the internet, seek advice from friends and relatives and then decide to purchase. Suppose the purchased product is defective or malfunctions, we have an option to exchange or get a refund. […]

    Continue Reading

  • Everything will be alright

    Everything will be alright

    The phrase “Everything will be alright” is generally used under stressful circumstances in order to pacify or motivate the affected person. However, when this phrase is used to convince a son/daughter to accept a marriage proposal, it is very dangerous because some assumptions have been made that could go wrong and result in a miserable […]

    Continue Reading

  • A Beautiful Girl and a Rich Boy

    In a marital bond there are many aspects that impact the relationship than what is assumed by a majority as necessary.   In a majority of matrimonial advertisements, a beautiful girl and a rich boy are sought for a marriage proposal.   A few such advertisements are cited below: Looking for Engineer (B.Tech / MS) […]

    Continue Reading

  • Sasuraal Hai Yaaro

    Sasuraal Hai Yaaro

    Ek din kisi matrimonial pe ek baat likhi thi ab ja ke dil ne maana, maana vo baat sahi thi jiska koi nahi uska to sasuraal hai yaaro jiska koi nahi uska to sasuraal hai yaaro mai nahi kehta, mai nahin kehta rivajon me likha hai yaaro jiska koi nahi uska to sasuraal hai yaaro […]

    Continue Reading

  • Best Wishes for a Happy Bakr-Eid

    Best Wishes for a Happy Bakr-Eid

    Eid al-Adha also called the Feast of Sacrifice or Bakr-Eid , is the second of two religious holidays celebrated by Muslims worldwide each year. It honors the willingness of Abraham (Ibrahim A.S.) to sacrifice his son, as an act of submission to God’s command, before God then intervened, through his angel Jibra’il and informs him […]

    Continue Reading

  • Fear and Trust

    Fear and Trust

    A majority of parents from the Asian Subcontinent are mostly worried about their daughters’ getting/not-getting married. Fear and Trust are the foundations of these worries. Fear is: An anxious feeling, caused by our anticipation of some imagined event or experience. President Franklin Roosevelt famously asserted, “The only thing we have to fear is fear itself.” […]

    Continue Reading

  • There’s a Ray of Hope

    There’s a Ray of Hope

    A majority of families schedule weddings after the month of Ramadan and I had the opportunity to attend a few weddings during my recent visit to Bangalore. From what I witnessed, I realized that there’s a ray of hope now. It is heartening to note that a large number of bridegroom’s families are conducting the […]

    Continue Reading

  • Vehicle Inspection

    Vehicle Inspection

    Vehicle inspection is mandatory in many countries to ensure that vehicles conform to safety, emissions and road worthiness.  A sticker is usually placed on the windshield of those vehicles that pass inspection.  In some countries cars older than two years are required to have a yearly inspection and those that are older than 15 years are […]

    Continue Reading

  • Benefits of Fasting in Ramzan

    Benefits of Fasting in Ramzan

    Dear Readers, Hello and As Salamualaykum! Ramzan Sawm (Fasting) is one of the five pillars of Islam and the ninth month of the Muslim calendar. The meaning of Sawm is to ‘abstain’.  Ramzan is an annual workshop to refresh us for carrying out our duties towards Allah (SWT). Fasting develops patience, self-control and helps us […]

    Continue Reading

  • Blog Roll

    Blog Roll

    Please find below links to some of the truly inspiring, motivating and informative blogs from the blogging fraternity.    Dowry  and Female Feticides http://www.itsagirlmovie.com/ http://saynotodowryenglish.blogspot.com/ http://www.firstpost.com/tag/dowry http://saynodowry.com/ http://www.boloji.com/index.cfm?md=Content&sd=Articles&ArticleID=1911 http://manasij.wordpress.com/2012/08/27/dowry/ http://blogs.thenewstribe.com/blog/67490/say-no-to-dowry-loud-clear/#.UNC1xm_qmSo http://twocircles.net/2012sep07/young_generation_urged_say_%E2%80%98no_dowry.html http://www.causes.com/causes/268995-anti-dowry-campaign-say-no-to-dowry Marriage http://www.srilankamuslims.net/nice-graphic-about-muslim-marriage-dowry/ http://muslimmarriages.wordpress.com/ http://imcv-marriage.blogspot.com/ http://deltawomen.blogspot.com/2012/12/mysore-marriage-curse-of-muslim-women.html http://www.weddinglegend.com/muslim-wedding-traditions/ http://muslimspice.com/why-american-muslim-women-cannot-get-married http://www.atlantabeez.org/muslim-marriages-experiencing-high-rate-of-divorce/ http://blog.halfourdeen.com/ http://www.muslimmarriageadvice.com/a-blessing-of-paradise/ http://islam44.blogspot.com/2012/11/find-muslim-life-partner-muslim.html http://theduncanadventures.blogspot.com/2012/11/my-first-omani-muslim-wedding.html http://nour-dv.org.uk/2012/09/10/muslim-marriage-certificate-review/ http://www.islam-muslim.net/muslim-marriage-shaadi/ http://www.lovemydress.net/blog/2012/08/muslim-wedding-explosion-of-colour-and-style.html http://www.aware.org.sg/2012/07/rethinking-the-muslim-marriage-contract/ http://blog.naseeb.com/2012/10/problems-faced-by-muslim-couples-after-marriage/ http://www.muslimweddingtips.com/muslim-marriage-contract/ http://islamiclearningmaterials.com/7-warning-signs-your-marriage-trouble/ http://blog.rukhsanakhan.com/date/2012/12/ Self-Development http://www.stevenaitchison.co.uk/blog/50-of-the-best-personal-development-blogs/ http://www.persistenceunlimited.com/2007/07/the-top-50-blogs-that-will-unleash-your-motivation/ […]

    Continue Reading

  • Contact


        Please follow and like us:0 var addthis_config = { url: “http://muslimweddingflight.com/contact”, title: “Contact” }

    Continue Reading

  • Word a Day

    Word a Day

    Word of the Day Word of the Day provided by TheFreeDictionary   Quote of the Day Quote of the Day provided by TheFreeDictionary   Article of the Day Article of the Day provided by TheFreeDictionary   This Day in History This Day in History provided by TheFreeDictionary   Today’s Birthday Today’s Birthday provided by TheFreeDictionary […]

    Continue Reading

  • Why Marry?

    Unfortunately, these are some of the (unmentioned) reasons that some parents conceal when deciding to marry their children: • Our son is frivolous and we hope that he will learn his responsibilities once he gets married. • The mother is old and sick and we need a woman (daughter in-law) who will look after the […]

    Continue Reading

  • Marriage Planning

    Marriage Planning

    “If you fail to plan, you plan to fail’ Benjamin Franklin         Planning can be defined as a mental process to achieve some predetermined goals based on facts rather than guesses.  Some of the areas that require planning are : Life Goals, Personality, Academic/Religious Qualifications, Essential Skills, Hobbies and Interests,  Well-Being and Social Interests.  A […]

    Continue Reading

The Boss and The Saas

| March 11, 2014 | 8 Comments

“Adam and Eve were the happiest, and the luckiest, couple in the world, because neither of them had a mother-in-law.”

In both professional and personal life two people are mostly blamed “The boss and the Saas”.   Some of the reasons are discussed below:


Managers work in every industry throughout the world. A manager monitors, evaluates, and supervises the activities of his or her staff. Line managers supervise staff, while mid-level managers develop plans, goals, and deadlines. Upper-level managers such as vice presidents and chief financial officers work on developing company policies and long-term business strategies.

A manager needs to have certain qualities in order to succeed. These qualities include leadership skills, verbal and written communication abilities, excellent interpersonal abilities, an eye for detail, and solid analytical skills.

Bosses can make or mar your professional and personal life. A boss should be a good leader than a manager. Some of the traits of a Manager and a Leader are as follows:

  • Managers give answers while leaders ask questions.
  • Managers criticize or reprimand while Leaders indirectly point out the mistakes and take responsibility.
  • Managers rarely praise while Leaders take every opportunity to reward their employees.
  • Managers focus on the bad while Leaders focus on the good.
  • Managers take credit while Leaders credit their teams.
  • Managers exercise power over people while Leaders develop power with people.

Below are a few examples of the bad leadership traits:

  • Poor decision making
  • Bad communication
  • Yelling, belittling or condemning at every opportunity.
  • Threatening
  • Using fear tactics
  • Making employees feel guilty.

Good Leaders and Bosses are someone who takes care by guiding, listening and empowering their employees. They have the following traits and values that make them distinguished from others:

  • Faith and belief
  • Knowledge and Wisdom
  • Courage and determination
  • Mutual consultation
  • Morality and Piety
  • Superior Communication
  • Justice and Compassion
  • Patience and Endurance
  • Commitment and Sacrifice
  • Gratitude and prayers.

The relationship between the Mother-In-Law and the Daughter-In-Law is mostly tense, uneasy, uncomfortable and infuriating. This deadlock has caused great unhappiness and distress to both Mother-In-Law and Daughter-In-Law. Most Daughters-In-Law blame their Mothers-In-Law for having the following traits:

  • Failing to recognize the identity of a Daughter-In-Law.
  • Being biased
  • Too much intrusion
  • Status issues
  • Involvement in housework and child care


Similar to a Manager, the Mother-In-Law monitors, evaluates, and supervises the activities of her family members. Managers at different levels do different jobs. However, a Mother-In-Law has to perform all jobs from supervising to developing plans, goals, and policies, short-term and long-term strategies for the family.

The Mother-In-Law too needs to have certain qualities such as leadership skills, excellent interpersonal and verbal communication abilities and analytical skills. Her family members know her behavior and attitude and adjust accordingly. However, her Daughter-In-Law may need months and perhaps years to understand her behavior and attitude and adjust accordingly.

A Mother-In-Law assumes the position on the day her son gets married. As of that day, if the mother-in-law possessed the necessary skills and abilities and successfully handled the family, she would be qualified for the post. However, if she should be lacking in the aforesaid skills and abilities and have bad leadership traits; her communication, behavior and attitude would certainly lead to misunderstandings, disagreements, frustration and unhappiness in the relationship with her DIL.

The following is a summary from Dr. Muhammad Ali al-Hashimi’s book ‘The Ideal Muslilmah’ about the Muslim Woman’s attitude towards her Daughters-In-Law:

  • She knows how to make a good choice in selecting a daughter-in-law
  • She knows her place
  • She gives advice but does not interfere in their private life
  • She respects her and treats her well
  • She is wise and fair in her judgment of her daughter-in-law

Good Mothers-In-Law should be someone who takes care by guiding, listening and empowering their Daughters-In-Law. If you are about to assume the Mother-In-Law’s position, possessing or acquiring the required skills, traits and values would enable you to enjoy a happy relationship with your Daughter-In-Law.


What other Skills, Values, and Traits would you recommend for an ideal mother-in-law?

Source: Google.com

Please follow and like us:

Tags: , , , , , , , ,

Category: Uncategorized

About the Author (Author Profile)

I’m Fayaz Pasha from Bangalore, the Silicon Valley and Garden City of India. I’m a Certified Life Coach and an NLP Practitioner. I love reading, writing and convey my thoughts through Poetry. I would like to make my humble contribution to the Society through this blog towards detoxification of social evils particularly the dowry system.

Please follow and like us:

Comments (8)

Trackback URL | Comments RSS Feed

  1. sindhoooo says:

    After reading this masterpiece, I am wondering how much do you research to write over a topic! Hats off!
    sindhoooo recently posted…Singer Talent – My New Designing Companion :)My Profile

  2. Anupama says:

    True… but I found it hilarious. Brought a smile.


  3. Athenas Take says:

    As a mother in law is the leader she needs to lead a lot by example. I know that for any mother her kid is surely important but its we daughters in law we are the ones who look after the MIL. A little importance to the DIL and friendly nature can surely make this envious relationship one of love. Its a two way relationship and the DILS also need to be good and not biased.
    Athenas Take recently posted…Means to Procreate or Much MoreMy Profile

    • Fayaz Pasha says:

      Very true! It’s a game wherein both have to play “doubles” but unfortunately they become opponents in a short time and this happens mostly due to customs, traditions, expectations etc. Being aware and skilled on all these aspects would certainly help them in bonding as a team.

  4. Anita says:

    Ideal qualities for Boss & MIL nicely listed, Fayazji.
    I agree that great Leaders make a great difference. :)
    May we all get the best people in our life :)

    • Fayaz Pasha says:

      Thanks Anita. Employees suffer a lot at the hands of unqualified and undeserving managers. Similarly, brides suffer if the MIL is unqualified (if she lacks in virtues, good traits, soft skills, attitude and behavior).

Leave a Reply

CommentLuv badge

Enjoy this blog? Please spread the word :)