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  • Main Hoon Na

    Main Hoon Na

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  • Mother of all Evils

    Mother of all Evils

    Many parents consider giving dowry as their love, obligation and responsibility. However, understanding the concept of dowry and its impact on the society becomes crucial in the wake of suffering and deaths caused by this evil system which is mother of all evils. The dowry system dates back to the Babylonian period wherein daughters did […]

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  • 100th Post

    100th Post

    Hello and As Salamualaykum! Dear Readers, The Wedding Flight  took off on 31st December 2012 and has reached its 100th post. This blog focuses on bringing awareness on some of the social evils in the society particularly the dowry system. The rising number of divorces, female infanticide and dowry deaths is alarming and threatening the society.  […]

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  • Love, Obligation and Responsibility

    Love, Obligation and Responsibility

    A majority of parents make assumptions and presumptions regarding various aspects while seeking a spouse for their children. In addition, they are confused between the words Love, Obligation and Responsibility. Some parents assume giving dowry is due to their love for their daughter, some consider it as their obligation and some consider it as their […]

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  • Memorable Day of Life

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  • A Stitch in Time Saves Nine

    A Stitch in Time Saves Nine

    When a marital proposal is made some questions play a very crucial role in setting right many an expectations from all concerned. At this stage, a majority of them either ignore or hesitate to ask some crucial questions. Once this opportunity is lost, the spouses, parents and in-laws face a lot of trauma when situations […]

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  • To Mein Ye Rishta Pakka Samjhoon

    To Mein Ye Rishta Pakka Samjhoon

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  • Socially Apathetic

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  • Marital Expectations

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  • Main aur Meri Tanhai

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    Bridegroom:  Main aur meri tanhai aksar yeh baatein kartein hain Dahej na hota to keisa hota, Na ladki pareshan hoti na maabaap pareshan hotey. Na wo kisi baat pe hairaan hotey, Na ladkiyan kisi baat pe afsos karti Na Bahoo ko yun jalaya jaata, Na gharse yun nikala jaata Na Maabaap ko sood pe kharza […]

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  • Employment Offer for a Wife

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  • Dowrywali Dulhania Le Jayenge

    Dowrywali Dulhania Le Jayenge

    Dowrywali Dulhania Le Jayenge Ye Kudiyaan Dowry Di Pudiyaan Ye Munde Fakhir De Kunde Ye Kudiyaan Dowry Di Pudiyaan Ye Munde Fakhir De Kunde Dowry Di Pudiyaan Fakhir De Kunde O  Jewelry kharidke rakhna Gaddi saja ke rakhna Jewelry kharidke rakhna Gaddi saja ke rakhna Lene Tujhse Wo Dowry Aayenge Tere Sajna Jewelry kharidke rakhna […]

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  • 2nd Anniversary Celebration

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  • Socially Approved Kidnapping

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  • Reel And Real Life

    Reel And Real Life

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  • Are We Smart?

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  • Stop Bargaining and Start Negotiating

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  • Huge Dowry or Huge Differences

    Huge Dowry or Huge Differences

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  • The Dowry Iceberg

    The Dowry Iceberg

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  • Prevention Is Better Than Cure

    Prevention is better than cure is an old saying which means that we should prevent a disease by observing hygiene instead of letting the disease spread by causing further complications and deterioration and needing lots of efforts to cure it. Those who do not observe it usually suffer. When we nip the bud in the […]

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  • SAAS Compatible

    SAAS Compatible

    Compatibility is normally based on family, social and financial status, religious and cultural background, lineage,  core beliefs and values. Compatibility is also based on some of the following factors: Name Birth Chart Rashi and Nakshatra Numerology Horoscope Natal Chart Moon Charts Lagna Charts The families arrive at a decision after having undergone a lengthy process of […]

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  • What is Love?

    What is Love?

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  • Eid Mubarak

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  • Is he still a student?

    Is he still a student?

    Dear Readers, Hello and As Salamualaykum! The Holy month of Ramadan is coming to a close for Muslims around the world. It is a time when millions reflect and pray for change.  Once prophet (SM) was climbing his pulpit in Madina, and his pulpit had 3 steps. Every step he climbed, he said Ameen; hearing […]

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  • A Prayer Of The Prey

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  • Ramadan Mubarak

    Ramadan Mubarak

    Ramadan is much more than fasting.  It is a workshop where Muslims get trained to re-evaluate their lives in the light of Islamic guidance. It is essentially a month to detox physically, mentally and spiritually. Through fasting, a Muslim experiences hunger and thirst, and sympathizes with those in the world who have little to eat […]

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  • Weapons of Mass Destruction

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  • Blog Roll

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    Please find below links to some of the truly inspiring, motivating and informative blogs from the blogging fraternity.    Dowry  and Female Feticides http://www.itsagirlmovie.com/ http://saynotodowryenglish.blogspot.com/ http://www.firstpost.com/tag/dowry http://saynodowry.com/ http://www.boloji.com/index.cfm?md=Content&sd=Articles&ArticleID=1911 http://manasij.wordpress.com/2012/08/27/dowry/ http://blogs.thenewstribe.com/blog/67490/say-no-to-dowry-loud-clear/#.UNC1xm_qmSo http://twocircles.net/2012sep07/young_generation_urged_say_%E2%80%98no_dowry.html http://www.causes.com/causes/268995-anti-dowry-campaign-say-no-to-dowry Marriage http://www.srilankamuslims.net/nice-graphic-about-muslim-marriage-dowry/ http://muslimmarriages.wordpress.com/ http://imcv-marriage.blogspot.com/ http://deltawomen.blogspot.com/2012/12/mysore-marriage-curse-of-muslim-women.html http://www.weddinglegend.com/muslim-wedding-traditions/ http://muslimspice.com/why-american-muslim-women-cannot-get-married http://www.atlantabeez.org/muslim-marriages-experiencing-high-rate-of-divorce/ http://blog.halfourdeen.com/ http://www.muslimmarriageadvice.com/a-blessing-of-paradise/ http://islam44.blogspot.com/2012/11/find-muslim-life-partner-muslim.html http://theduncanadventures.blogspot.com/2012/11/my-first-omani-muslim-wedding.html http://nour-dv.org.uk/2012/09/10/muslim-marriage-certificate-review/ http://www.islam-muslim.net/muslim-marriage-shaadi/ http://www.lovemydress.net/blog/2012/08/muslim-wedding-explosion-of-colour-and-style.html http://www.aware.org.sg/2012/07/rethinking-the-muslim-marriage-contract/ http://blog.naseeb.com/2012/10/problems-faced-by-muslim-couples-after-marriage/ http://www.muslimweddingtips.com/muslim-marriage-contract/ http://islamiclearningmaterials.com/7-warning-signs-your-marriage-trouble/ http://blog.rukhsanakhan.com/date/2012/12/ Self-Development http://www.stevenaitchison.co.uk/blog/50-of-the-best-personal-development-blogs/ http://www.persistenceunlimited.com/2007/07/the-top-50-blogs-that-will-unleash-your-motivation/ […]

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  • Word a Day

    Word a Day

    Word of the Day Word of the Day provided by TheFreeDictionary   Quote of the Day Quote of the Day provided by TheFreeDictionary   Article of the Day Article of the Day provided by TheFreeDictionary   This Day in History This Day in History provided by TheFreeDictionary   Today’s Birthday Today’s Birthday provided by TheFreeDictionary […]

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  • Why Marry?

    Unfortunately, these are some of the (unmentioned) reasons that some parents conceal when deciding to marry their children: • Our son is frivolous and we hope that he will learn his responsibilities once he gets married. • The mother is old and sick and we need a woman (daughter in-law) who will look after the […]

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Bio-data For Marriage Proposals

| August 23, 2013 | 14 Comments

I have always wondered over the precise details that are mentioned in the bio-data for marriage proposals. However when it comes to applying for a job, the C.Vs run into pages providing elaborate details so that no stone is left unturned.  In one of the recent newspaper articles it was suggested that before hiring housemaids, they need to be screened for psychological and medical tests. Their family and criminal background also need to be checked.   An ultrasound is recommended for a pregnant woman in order to determine certain statistics about the age, sex, and level of development of the fetus and to determine the presence of birth defects or other potential problems.  Similarly, a Bio-Data should serve the purpose of an ultrasound that may help both families to get an in-depth knowledge about the prospective bride or bridegroom.

However, in case of a marriage proposal, a one-page bio-data with a photograph is all that is presented or required.  And the criteria is most often beauty with dowry for the bride and a degree with a good paycheck for the groom.

Here are a few examples (as advertised):

  • The groom is very decent, smart, religious, soft-spoken, civilized,loving,caring from a educated and respected family.
  • The bride should be genius,mature,perfect in house hold, religious,simple and silent nature. 
  • Bride should be at least graduate, well educated, decent & religious.
  • The boy is Religious, Decent, Well mannered, and is working as assistant manager in a reputed company with handsome salary.
  • we are looking for educated decent smart groom for sister. she is beautiful lightweight attractive bright white color.
  • Required a bride for my civil engineer son having the age of 26. the bride should be smart, slim, height about 5 feet 6 inches, intelligent, can cook any type of dish, age below 24, good looking, good nature, simple.
  • A Computer Engr seeking a bride from a reputable family. Bride’s age should be between 24-26, height required 5ft 1 inch not more than that and she must be fair or wheatish fair, well qualified (preferable Engr/doc/M.Sc), simple and decent.

One reason why it takes years to finalize the marriage proposal is due to minimal information being provided at the time of proposal.  After many rounds of talks, phone conversations and visits there would still be room for shocks and surprises.

The second major reason for many failed marriages is lack of vital information regarding health, habits or family background not being disclosed with a hope that everything will be alright after the marriage.  

When applying for a passport, an individual is required to submit an application form providing all necessary details about self and family as well as a Police Inquiry Report clearing the individual from any criminal involvement. In case of an application for personal, housing or a vehicle loan, documents such as a copy of the passport, a copy of the salary certificate, a copy of the bank passbook, a copy of the employment contract, statement of the bank account etc. are required to be submitted.

We do not hesitate to provide true facts and required documents for the aforesaid purposes. However, at the time of selecting a life partner for our children, we do hesitate to ask or to provide full information as it may be necessary.  One of life’s most important obligations is fulfilled more or less based upon our assumptions and presumptions in certain aspects of the proposal. Providing and seeking comprehensive details at the time of a marriage proposal would eliminate all doubts, surprises and shocks and the relationship will be established based on truth and honesty which are the pillars for any successful partnership.

I have developed a comprehensive Bio-data for marriage proposals that covers about ten major aspects about the spouses enabling marriage proposal an easy process. The detailed format is available in my book “A Guide To Spouse Selection” which can be downloaded by clicking the link on the right side bar.

Abu Huraira (RA) reported:

The Messenger of Allah, peace and blessings be upon him, said, 

“He who relieves the hardship of a believer in this world, Allah will relieve his hardship on the Day of Judgment.

He who makes easy what is difficult, Allah will make it easy for him in the world and the Hereafter.

He who conceals the faults of a Muslim, Allah will conceal his faults in the world and the Hereafter, for Allah helps the servant so long as he helps his brother.

He who travels a path in search of knowledge, Allah will make easy a path to Paradise, for a people do not gather together in the houses of Allah, reciting the Book of Allah and studying together, except that tranquility will descend upon them, mercy will cover them, angels will surround them, and Allah will mention them to those with Him; and he who is slow to good deeds will not be hastened by his lineage.”

Source: Sahih Muslim 2699

You may also be interested to read:

Marriage Toolkit

Premarital Planning & Preparation

Marital Qualifications

Premarital Agreement

Sample Terms & Conditions

Pre-Flight Safety Demo

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About the Author (Author Profile)

I’m Fayaz Pasha from Bangalore, the Silicon Valley and Garden City of India. I’m a Certified Life Coach and an NLP Practitioner. I love reading, writing and convey my thoughts through Poetry. I would like to make my humble contribution to the Society through this blog towards detoxification of social evils particularly the dowry system.

Comments (14)

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  1. 2nd Anniversary Celebration - Muslim Wedding Flight : Muslim Wedding Flight | December 31, 2014
  1. Fayaz Pasha says:

    Thank you Mr. Bazmi for dropping by and yes insufficient details have lead to many marital problems.

  2. Adil Syed says:

    well written sir ji…

  3. preethi says:

    Wow…such a vital decision in life based on sparsely provided information. unthinkable. Well written sir.

    • Fayaz Pasha says:

      Yes Preethi and that’s so true. How many people have a chance to register online. A majority of them use a single page Bio-data that’s handled by unregistered marriage brokers. Hence the process of getting correct and major information takes months and in some cases engagements have been broken after knowing certain facts that weren’t disclosed earlier.

  4. numerounity says:

    People should be very honest and open when planning to get married. Being open about all issues in the beginning itself is good and false advertising leads only to failure!

    http://www.numerounity.com
    numerounity recently posted…I say Mints, ITC said Ultramintz!My Profile

    • Fayaz Pasha says:

      Very true Ekta, but once the above sentences are said, the reply we get is who’s honest in this world. If we tell the truth our daughter will not get married or our son will not get any proposals. They do not think about the damage that is caused in the future to all concerned.

  5. Bushra says:

    Good article! Hahaha! Patanai kya kya karna padhta hai!

    • Fayaz Pasha says:

      Thanks Bushra for dropping by. Haan! kisi bhi acchi imarat ke liye accha foundation ki zaroorath hai. The foundation of a relationship too should start with honesty, truth and faith in the Creator, the rest would be smooth. Our minds have been conditioned to say “Shaadi ke baad sub theek ho jayega” and that’s the biggest lie.

  6. Athenas Take says:

    Vital info…..a must read for both sexes.
    Athenas Take recently posted…Safe, Secure or …………………………………?????My Profile

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