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    The phrase “Everything will be alright” is generally used under stressful circumstances in order to pacify or motivate the affected person. However, when this phrase is used to convince a son/daughter to accept a marriage proposal, it is very dangerous because some assumptions have been made that could go wrong and result in a miserable […]

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Bio-data For Marriage Proposals

| August 23, 2013 | 14 Comments

I have always wondered over the precise details that are mentioned in the bio-data for marriage proposals. However when it comes to applying for a job, the C.Vs run into pages providing elaborate details so that no stone is left unturned.  

In one of the recent newspaper articles it was suggested that before hiring housemaids, they need to be screened for psychological and medical tests. Their family and criminal background also need to be checked.   An ultrasound is recommended for a pregnant woman in order to determine certain statistics about the age, sex, and level of development of the fetus and to determine the presence of birth defects or other potential problems.  Similarly, a Bio-Data should serve the purpose of an ultrasound that may help both families to get an in-depth knowledge about the prospective bride or bridegroom.

However, in case of a marriage proposal, a one-page bio-data with a photograph is all that is presented or required.  And the criteria is most often beauty with dowry for the bride and a degree with a good paycheck for the groom.

Here are a few examples (as advertised):

  • The groom is very decent, smart, religious, soft-spoken, civilized,loving,caring from a educated and respected family.
  • The bride should be genius,mature,perfect in house hold, religious,simple and silent nature. 
  • Bride should be at least graduate, well educated, decent & religious.
  • The boy is Religious, Decent, Well mannered, and is working as assistant manager in a reputed company with handsome salary.
  • we are looking for educated decent smart groom for sister. she is beautiful lightweight attractive bright white color.
  • Required a bride for my civil engineer son having the age of 26. the bride should be smart, slim, height about 5 feet 6 inches, intelligent, can cook any type of dish, age below 24, good looking, good nature, simple.
  • A Computer Engr seeking a bride from a reputable family. Bride’s age should be between 24-26, height required 5ft 1 inch not more than that and she must be fair or wheatish fair, well qualified (preferable Engr/doc/M.Sc), simple and decent.

One reason why it takes years to finalize the marriage proposal is due to minimal information being provided at the time of proposal.  After many rounds of talks, phone conversations and visits there would still be room for shocks and surprises.

The second major reason for many failed marriages is lack of vital information regarding health, habits or family background not being disclosed with a hope that everything will be alright after the marriage.  

When applying for a passport, an individual is required to submit an application form providing all necessary details about self and family as well as a Police Inquiry Report clearing the individual from any criminal involvement. In case of an application for personal, housing or a vehicle loan, documents such as a copy of the passport, a copy of the salary certificate, a copy of the bank passbook, a copy of the employment contract, statement of the bank account etc. are required to be submitted.

We do not hesitate to provide true facts and required documents for the aforesaid purposes. However, at the time of selecting a life partner for our children, we do hesitate to ask or to provide full information as it may be necessary.  One of life’s most important obligations is fulfilled more or less based upon our assumptions and presumptions in certain aspects of the proposal. Providing and seeking comprehensive details at the time of a marriage proposal would eliminate all doubts, surprises and shocks and the relationship will be established based on truth and honesty which are the pillars for any successful partnership.

I have developed a comprehensive Bio-data for marriage proposals that covers about ten major aspects about the spouses enabling marriage proposal an easy process. The detailed format is available in my book “A Guide To Spouse Selection” .

Abu Huraira (RA) reported:

The Messenger of Allah, peace and blessings be upon him, said, 

“He who relieves the hardship of a believer in this world, Allah will relieve his hardship on the Day of Judgment.

He who makes easy what is difficult, Allah will make it easy for him in the world and the Hereafter.

He who conceals the faults of a Muslim, Allah will conceal his faults in the world and the Hereafter, for Allah helps the servant so long as he helps his brother.

He who travels a path in search of knowledge, Allah will make easy a path to Paradise, for a people do not gather together in the houses of Allah, reciting the Book of Allah and studying together, except that tranquility will descend upon them, mercy will cover them, angels will surround them, and Allah will mention them to those with Him; and he who is slow to good deeds will not be hastened by his lineage.”

Source: Sahih Muslim 2699

You may also be interested to read:

Marriage Toolkit

Premarital Planning & Preparation

Marital Qualifications

Premarital Agreement

Sample Terms & Conditions

Pre-Flight Safety Demo

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About the Author (Author Profile)

I’m Fayaz Pasha from Bangalore, the Silicon Valley and Garden City of India. I’m a Certified Life Coach and an NLP Practitioner. I love reading, writing and convey my thoughts through Poetry. I would like to make my humble contribution to the Society through this blog towards detoxification of social evils particularly the dowry system.

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Comments (14)

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  1. Fayaz Pasha says:

    Thank you Mr. Bazmi for dropping by and yes insufficient details have lead to many marital problems.

  2. Adil Syed says:

    well written sir ji…

  3. preethi says:

    Wow…such a vital decision in life based on sparsely provided information. unthinkable. Well written sir.

    • Fayaz Pasha says:

      Yes Preethi and that’s so true. How many people have a chance to register online. A majority of them use a single page Bio-data that’s handled by unregistered marriage brokers. Hence the process of getting correct and major information takes months and in some cases engagements have been broken after knowing certain facts that weren’t disclosed earlier.

  4. numerounity says:

    People should be very honest and open when planning to get married. Being open about all issues in the beginning itself is good and false advertising leads only to failure!
    numerounity recently posted…I say Mints, ITC said Ultramintz!My Profile

    • Fayaz Pasha says:

      Very true Ekta, but once the above sentences are said, the reply we get is who’s honest in this world. If we tell the truth our daughter will not get married or our son will not get any proposals. They do not think about the damage that is caused in the future to all concerned.

  5. Bushra says:

    Good article! Hahaha! Patanai kya kya karna padhta hai!

    • Fayaz Pasha says:

      Thanks Bushra for dropping by. Haan! kisi bhi acchi imarat ke liye accha foundation ki zaroorath hai. The foundation of a relationship too should start with honesty, truth and faith in the Creator, the rest would be smooth. Our minds have been conditioned to say “Shaadi ke baad sub theek ho jayega” and that’s the biggest lie.

  6. Athenas Take says:

    Vital info…..a must read for both sexes.
    Athenas Take recently posted…Safe, Secure or …………………………………?????My Profile

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