• Dowry returned by 800 families

    Dowry returned by 800 families

    Hats Off to those who initiated this wonderful campaign due to which dowry has been returned by the grooms’ families.  Below is the report: A silent and unique social transformation is sweeping the Muslim community in Jharkhand’s Palamu region, with hundreds of families returning dowry they had taken during their sons’ weddings. Over the last […]

    Continue Reading

  • Conscious Living

    Conscious Living

    Dear Readers!   The other day while I was browsing the net, I was shocked to read some of the following statistics and I realized that there’s a bigger threat to humanity today than any weapons of mass destruction or wars. Can we do anything to mitigate this dangerous situation? 185,000 people were killed in […]

    Continue Reading

  • An Accident

    An Accident

    An accident is defined as a Mishap, a Misfortune, a Calamity, a Catastrophe, a Disaster or a Mistake Where an accident is a Mishap and suppose you drive with a cup of coffee in your hand and you bump into another car from behind It’s a big blunder and not a mishap Where an accident […]

    Continue Reading

  • Celebrating 4th Anniversary

    Celebrating 4th Anniversary

    Dear Readers, Hello and Assalamualaikum! The blog today successfully marks the 4th Anniversary of a beautiful journey with your support and kind appreciation. Muslim Wedding Flight did face some turbulence issues during the year. However, it has been able to cruise safely to distant destinations across the globe with the constant support and encouragement from […]

    Continue Reading

  • 8 Reasons to NOT Send Your Daughter to College-Final Part

    8 Reasons to NOT Send Your Daughter to College-Final Part

    Here are the reasons to NOT send your daughter to college: 1. She will attract the wrong types of men. I share the common concern addressed to us, again mainly by angry women, that there are so many lazy men in our society. But what mystifies me is why girls continue to marry them and […]

    Continue Reading

  • 8 Reasons to NOT Send Your Daughter to College- Part1

    8 Reasons to NOT Send Your Daughter to College- Part1

    Probably the most controversial and rejected position we have at Fix the Family is that parents should not send their daughters to college. It is even more vehemently opposed than the submission of wives to their husbands. Both of these positions we have are a threat to the trophies of the feminist agenda, so the […]

    Continue Reading

  • Paying Guest and Marital Accommodation

    Paying Guest and Marital Accommodation

    Dear Readers, While watching a video about the recent suicide of a six month pregnant woman who was also a mother of two children, it pained me a lot.  She committed suicide as she was being tortured for more dowries.  On the other hand, I was startled when I read about the facilities provided in […]

    Continue Reading

  • What Will You Do In This Situation?

    A teaspoon is a unit of volume measure equal to 1/3 tablespoon. It is exactly equal to 5 mL. In the USA there are 16 teaspoons in 1/3 cup, and there are 6 teaspoons in 1 fluid ounce. Why am I saying all this as if no one knows a teaspoon. Well, this little teaspoon […]

    Continue Reading

  • Knowing the Purposes of a Marriage

    Knowing the Purposes of a Marriage

    Parents and those seeking a spouse are mostly worried about the wedding day and how they would be able to meet the expenses and make necessary arrangements for a smooth wedding.  However, a majority of them discard the idea of checking the veracity of the spouse’s background, getting a premarital medical checkup done or having […]

    Continue Reading

  • Kuch Rang SaaS Ke Aise Bhi – Part-2

    Kuch Rang SaaS Ke Aise Bhi – Part-2

    MIL (Mother-In-Law): Dear Daughter-In-Law (DIL), While I was seeking a bride for my son, I had made it clear that we are against the evil practice of dowry system. However, almost all proposals that we came across were loaded with dowries because my son is settled abroad. In some proposals, parents were even willing to […]

    Continue Reading

  • Why Marry?

    Unfortunately, these are some of the (unmentioned) reasons that some parents conceal when deciding to marry their children: • Our son is frivolous and we hope that he will learn his responsibilities once he gets married. • The mother is old and sick and we need a woman (daughter in-law) who will look after the […]

    Continue Reading

  • Marriage Planning

    Marriage Planning

    “If you fail to plan, you plan to fail’ Benjamin Franklin         Planning can be defined as a mental process to achieve some predetermined goals based on facts rather than guesses.  Some of the areas that require planning are : Life Goals, Personality, Academic/Religious Qualifications, Essential Skills, Hobbies and Interests,  Well-Being and Social Interests.  A […]

    Continue Reading

  • ABOUT ME

    ABOUT ME

    Hello and As Salamualaykum! Welcome aboard Muslim Wedding Flight and thank you very much for visiting my blog. I’m sure you must be bemused after reading this unusual blog title. Well, I got this idea while I was thinking about the various steps involved for a journey by flight. I wondered if people had to make meticulous […]

    Continue Reading

  • CONTACT

    CONTACT

        Please follow and like us:0 var addthis_config = { url: “http://muslimweddingflight.com/contact”, title: “CONTACT” }

    Continue Reading

A Stitch in Time Saves Nine

| February 19, 2015 | 18 Comments

When a marital proposal is made some questions play a very crucial role in setting right many an expectations from all concerned. At this stage, a majority of them either ignore or hesitate to ask some crucial questions. Once this opportunity is lost, the spouses, parents and in-laws face a lot of trauma when situations unfold against their expectations after marriage. There’s a famous proverb “A stitch in time saves nine”.

a-stitch-in-time-saves-nine

stitch in time

 

The following are a few questions put forth by a prospective housemaid to her employer:

  • What type of work will you be expecting from me?
  • Will you give me a separate room to live in?
  • Will you allow me to watch TV?
  • How many TV sets do you have?
  • Will you give me a weekly day off?
  • Have you got a refrigerator?
  • What about my clothes, soap, toothpaste etc.?
  • How many children do you have?
  • Will you allow my friends to visit me?
  • How many of your children is school going?
  • How many male or female members are to be looked after?
  • Have you got a milk vendor for home delivery of milk?
  • Have you engaged a vegetable seller permanently to avoid going to the market?
  • How many room coolers or ACs do you have in the house?
  • Have you got a geyser to get hot water?
  • Do you become angry over trifles?
  • Will you give me a freehand to eat whatever is prepared in the kitchen?
  • How many times will I get tea? (at least 3 times a day including bed tea)?
  • Am I expected to wash the clothes of the family?
  • Will I have to drop and pickup the school children from bus stands?
  • What is the monthly salary you are offering me?

If a housemaid would like to have crystal clear clarity about a few important aspects, isn’t it necessary for all the parties involved in a marriage to have clarity on certain important matters before finalizing the proposal?

Below are a few questions that need to be asked and clarified:

  • Do the father and mother-in-law have the right of obedience?
  • Do they have the right to enter my room with or without permission?
  • To what extent should I obey them with regard to my clothing, cooking, childcare, house-keeping and going out of the house?
  • Do they have the right to interfere in our marital life?
  • Do they have any rights with regard to our work, where we live, education and the like?
  • Do I have to ask their permission to visit my family?
  • Do they have the right to know all the details about our life?

Do you have any more questions to add to the above list?

Source:
Woman’s Era- June 2002.
http://islamqa.info
Please follow and like us:
0

Tags: , , , , ,

Category: MARITAL AWARENESS

About the Author (Author Profile)

I’m Fayaz Pasha from Bangalore, the Silicon Valley and Garden City of India. I’m a Certified Life Coach and an NLP Practitioner. I love reading, writing and convey my thoughts through Poetry. I would like to make my humble contribution to the Society through this blog towards detoxification of social evils particularly the dowry system.

Please follow and like us:
0

Comments (18)

Trackback URL | Comments RSS Feed

  1. sindhoooo says:

    It is very true that the society isn’t much open to a life long relationship… Hope these questions reach all the ‘koopa mandookas’ (frogs in the well) :)
    TC! Keep smiling :)
    sindhoooo recently posted…Paper Quilled EarhangingsMy Profile

  2. You’ve covered almost everything. It’s always better to discuss the pros and cons, whatever the deal is, even marriage.
    Maniparna Sengupta Majumder recently posted…Haiku: Summer MorningMy Profile

    • Fayaz Pasha says:

      I did expect a few more questions from girl’s point of view. While we are so cautious while buying vegetables, fruits, appliances etc, we just cannot presume or assume and accept pain and suffering as destiny and fate. If a co-passenger in a bus or plane is bothersome, the journey becomes distasteful. Why should a life-long journey be allowed to be distasteful?

  3. Saru Singhal says:

    Nope, you have said almost everything. People should realize that marriage is a tricky institution these days and it’s right to get things straight.

  4. Alok Singhal says:

    This is a very unique thought, Fayaz.

    Agreed, all questions ought to be asked before taking on anything that is of immense importance and marriage is one such ‘deal’

    • Fayaz Pasha says:

      Thank you Alok for your kind appreciation and I hope a majority of women who are seeking a life-partner also agree that its vital to ask and know certain things before securing the relationship.

  5. mumbaiiteanu says:

    A bit of frankness and clarifications right in the beginning can lay an honest foundation for a perfect marriage.
    mumbaiiteanu recently posted…Skywatch Friday 2015 – 8 : Trip To Elephanta Island – 4 # Seagulls In FlightMy Profile

    • Fayaz Pasha says:

      Rightly said. When the foundation itself is weak, the building is unsafe. Being frank and clarifying at least a few things as per expectations would help the relationship to bond with more love and trust.

  6. Though little weird to ask but yes it can save lot of pain later to all..

    • Fayaz Pasha says:

      Google Maps that are now available in mobile phones, watches, vehicles etc. have become so handy as they assist the travelers to reach their destination. Similarly, asking a few questions though weird or uneasy will certainly help in avoiding lots of pain and suffering in the long run.

      Thank you Roohi for your kind comment.

  7. Anita says:

    I agree that the parties must be open and free and honest right from the beginning. Sure can help for the future journey.
    Nicely expressed, Fayazji.
    Anita recently posted…#1000Speak For CompassionMy Profile

    • Fayaz Pasha says:

      Thank you Anita.

      The saying that “shaadi ke baad sub theek ho jayega” needs to be revised as “Sub theek hoga tho phir shaadi hogi” which needs to clarify a few basic questions as per their expectations.

  8. Ha ha.. These are good questions Fayaz. Kinda like having an agreement before entering the proposal, I like the faint tint of humor and the thought that has gone behind in making this post. If only life would have been this simple :)
    vinay nagaraju recently posted…Comment on How To Overcome Fear : 11 Practical Steps To Guide You Through The journey Of Overcoming Fears by Fayaz PashaMy Profile

    • Fayaz Pasha says:

      These are those questions that haunt relationships and bring them to the door of divorce and separation. We do clarify most of the aspects in life except relationships because we hope and assume things will turn out well as expected. Life is indeed simple, but we have ourselves made it complicated.

  9. The questions and the message is crystal clear.
    We need to tackle a small issue right now when we have the time, before it turns into a disaster.

Leave a Reply

CommentLuv badge

Enjoy this blog? Please spread the word :)

WordPress Backup