When a marital proposal is made some questions play a very crucial role in setting right many an expectations from all concerned. At this stage, a majority of them either ignore or hesitate to ask some crucial questions. Once this opportunity is lost, the spouses, parents and in-laws face a lot of trauma when situations unfold against their expectations after marriage. There’s a famous proverb “A stitch in time saves nine”.
The following are a few questions put forth by a prospective housemaid to her employer:
- What type of work will you be expecting from me?
- Will you give me a separate room to live in?
- Will you allow me to watch TV?
- How many TV sets do you have?
- Will you give me a weekly day off?
- Have you got a refrigerator?
- What about my clothes, soap, toothpaste etc.?
- How many children do you have?
- Will you allow my friends to visit me?
- How many of your children is school going?
- How many male or female members are to be looked after?
- Have you got a milk vendor for home delivery of milk?
- Have you engaged a vegetable seller permanently to avoid going to the market?
- How many room coolers or ACs do you have in the house?
- Have you got a geyser to get hot water?
- Do you become angry over trifles?
- Will you give me a freehand to eat whatever is prepared in the kitchen?
- How many times will I get tea? (at least 3 times a day including bed tea)?
- Am I expected to wash the clothes of the family?
- Will I have to drop and pickup the school children from bus stands?
- What is the monthly salary you are offering me?
If a housemaid would like to have crystal clear clarity about a few important aspects, isn’t it necessary for all the parties involved in a marriage to have clarity on certain important matters before finalizing the proposal?
Below are a few questions that need to be asked and clarified:
- Do the father and mother-in-law have the right of obedience?
- Do they have the right to enter my room with or without permission?
- To what extent should I obey them with regard to my clothing, cooking, childcare, house-keeping and going out of the house?
- Do they have the right to interfere in our marital life?
- Do they have any rights with regard to our work, where we live, education and the like?
- Do I have to ask their permission to visit my family?
- Do they have the right to know all the details about our life?
Do you have any more questions to add to the above list?
Woman’s Era- June 2002.
Category: MARITAL AWARENESS
About the Author (Author Profile)
I’m Fayaz Pasha from Bangalore, the Silicon Valley and Garden City of India. I’m a Certified Life Coach and an NLP Practitioner. I love reading, writing and convey my thoughts through Poetry. I would like to make my humble contribution to the Society through this blog towards detoxification of social evils particularly the dowry system.